There's been a lot of conjectures in my mind about "friends". Who do we really refer to as our friends? According to the Cambridge English dictionary, a 'friend' is defined as (1) a person whom you know well and whom you like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family (2) someone who is not an enemy and whom you can trust.
Yet for convenience sake, most of us would just refer to anyone outside the family whom we kind of know, conventionally as 'friends'.
I tend to give clear cut definitions to people whom I've acquainted in life. 'Friends' of brief acquaintance, classmates, coursemates, housemates/roomates, colleagues, hi-bye friends, normal friends, elderly friends (my parents'), close friends and best friend(s). I started defining people I met in life in believing it would devotail the harmonious of the friendship/relationship. You will be indubitably confide in your close/best pals and in return you'll give them priorities above other 'friends'. As for the rest in the category, you'll still be genial to them but decorously. You won't turn to the latter for consolation as they are not obliged to do so. In another words, you expect more from your close buddies. As days are accumulating in my life journey, I've become more relaxed about the classifications, well, sort of.
I recall having my daily schmoozing with a nice mate at work, which later on turned out tête-à-tête that day. We had an in-depth discussion on 'friendships'. She was prompting whether does a friendship has to be mutual. If you regard someone as your close pals, will they reciprocate as well? I think like all other relationships in the world, friendship has to be mutual too, that's for sure. Of course, you can still treat this person your best pal ever, yet he/she may not necessarily think/do the same. It is not his/her fault either. Everyone can have their own preference and have total freedom in choosing their own pals. But if it's just a one-sided acknowledgement, by and large the so-called friendship won't go too far. One day the 'giving' side may feel exhausted and disappointed as they don't see their expectations are met from that so-called buddy.
I won't say this context will be permanent. Things change, so does friendship. An acquaintance friend may someday become one of your best buddies. This is possible. Say you bump into this acquaintance friend on an occasion, you find some time to interact with him/her. Next time both of you meet again and since then you just bump into this friend more often. The interactions increase and probably you find both of you 'click'. It is also possible for best pal transformed into enemies and not talk at all or even meet anymore. When conflicts happen and the situation seems irreversible due to strong ego and pride from both sides, you realize the best pal ever had betrayed you for his/her own welfare or pleasure. You feel highly disappointed and decided to abandon the friendship. This is why I tend to be more easy-going with definitions on this issue now. *lol* *wink wink*
Like all relationships, friendship also needs 'skillful' managements. I don't have any tips on this. I personally am still learning and trying to work out a recipe. But one major ingredient in all relationship, including friendship is minimal expectations. Less expectations, less disappointments, the longer the friendship lasts. Oiy, how true this is! Well-said, well-said! *lol*.
Yet for convenience sake, most of us would just refer to anyone outside the family whom we kind of know, conventionally as 'friends'.
I tend to give clear cut definitions to people whom I've acquainted in life. 'Friends' of brief acquaintance, classmates, coursemates, housemates/roomates, colleagues, hi-bye friends, normal friends, elderly friends (my parents'), close friends and best friend(s). I started defining people I met in life in believing it would devotail the harmonious of the friendship/relationship. You will be indubitably confide in your close/best pals and in return you'll give them priorities above other 'friends'. As for the rest in the category, you'll still be genial to them but decorously. You won't turn to the latter for consolation as they are not obliged to do so. In another words, you expect more from your close buddies. As days are accumulating in my life journey, I've become more relaxed about the classifications, well, sort of.
I recall having my daily schmoozing with a nice mate at work, which later on turned out tête-à-tête that day. We had an in-depth discussion on 'friendships'. She was prompting whether does a friendship has to be mutual. If you regard someone as your close pals, will they reciprocate as well? I think like all other relationships in the world, friendship has to be mutual too, that's for sure. Of course, you can still treat this person your best pal ever, yet he/she may not necessarily think/do the same. It is not his/her fault either. Everyone can have their own preference and have total freedom in choosing their own pals. But if it's just a one-sided acknowledgement, by and large the so-called friendship won't go too far. One day the 'giving' side may feel exhausted and disappointed as they don't see their expectations are met from that so-called buddy.
I won't say this context will be permanent. Things change, so does friendship. An acquaintance friend may someday become one of your best buddies. This is possible. Say you bump into this acquaintance friend on an occasion, you find some time to interact with him/her. Next time both of you meet again and since then you just bump into this friend more often. The interactions increase and probably you find both of you 'click'. It is also possible for best pal transformed into enemies and not talk at all or even meet anymore. When conflicts happen and the situation seems irreversible due to strong ego and pride from both sides, you realize the best pal ever had betrayed you for his/her own welfare or pleasure. You feel highly disappointed and decided to abandon the friendship. This is why I tend to be more easy-going with definitions on this issue now. *lol* *wink wink*
Like all relationships, friendship also needs 'skillful' managements. I don't have any tips on this. I personally am still learning and trying to work out a recipe. But one major ingredient in all relationship, including friendship is minimal expectations. Less expectations, less disappointments, the longer the friendship lasts. Oiy, how true this is! Well-said, well-said! *lol*.
♥ every page of my imagination
