Why I am here? Why you are able to come here? In other words, why I blog? I haven't thought about the reasons, at least not up to five or six reasons (Man, how did Cindy manage to list so many reasons?). I know there was a little story for the birth of this blog.
All right, so here comes the story...
Once upon a time...Gotcha!
Nah, it's not that too long ago. It was sometime in 2005. I was browsing some blogs linked from an old blog, the one blog (more like a personal website that I discovered while searching for Graduate Schools back in 2003). I hadn't read that old blog for a long while after I relocated. So one fine weekend, I was a little bored at home and wondered what had happened to that blog. Then I went back to that site. Nothing was updated. So I randomly chose a link from that site. It linked to another blog, which happened to have many links. I wasn't too interested in the entries of that second blog. Again, I randomly chose a link from that second blog. There I found something a bit more interesting. But what made it more interesting was, I chose a link randomly from that super long list. And that was how I met Cindy. Oh, no I haven't met Cindy, but that's how I stumbled upon her blog, and since then became my first daily read. I also stumbled upon few more blogs through the same way (links from links).
That wasn't all the story. I was really inspired by the good writings. All along I had an idea of wanting to write down stuff I see, listen, and experience, primary or secondary. I used to have a notebook for me to jot down elegant phrases I read elsewhere, English and Chinese. I even attempted to write some entries during my sophormore year at college, but they were in Chinese. At the same time, my Witty Sister who is pretty updated with "fashions" in the world and is a computer geek, encouraged me to start my own blog. She's also my technical consultant in revamping my blog last year. Hence the birth of jaderays (named after the meaning of my second Chinese name).
The more I blog, the more I enjoy writing, albeit I do not have too much exciting and personal things to share. Believe it or not, it also helps in improving my English writing skill. It's like back in English class where we were required to write essays, instructed in various topics, description essays, argumentative essays and ex cetera. Here I do not have to follow instructions, I just write whatever and whenever I feel like it. Writing and reading blogs have become my daily habit. I still maintain a habit of reading a handful of blogs; their excellent writings always inspire me to write; let me tell you a secret, I like to analyze their styles of writing. Oops a daisy, I hope they won't make me pay them tuition fee for free writing lessons.
Oh, yeah, I realized it was lame in claiming writing has become my daily habit as I do not write that frequently as of late. Well then I should thank Cindy for providing a free topic for me to write for today. See, another reason I blog. I was tagged.
♥ every page of my imagination
3 people traveled to my fantasyland
After a long and tough debate, I've decided to jump in a new relationship with the new boy. I've been with my ex for 5 years now and I think it is time to get a new boy. I have always felt reluctant to end the 5-year relationship with my hunny, opps should now be my ex since we've been through a lot all these years (refer to My hunny). But since I will start writing my thesis in a few months' time, I can't afford my hunny throw me some tantrum. Basically my ex only allows me to sit and work at my writing desk at home, at a fixed angle. Once I move it aside, the ethernet adaptor for my cable internet connection will dislodge and it will take forever for me to hook it back to the correct specific angle to allow connection. Yes, you did not read it wrong. I am still using ethernet adaptor for cable internet connection. My ex is a humble non-modern guy.I was going back and forth with my decision. Although my ex does cause some inconvenience but he's been doing a great job as the only entertainment source for me. I still manage to do some work at home using it, but not too heavy duty. I tend to do most of my analysis and writing work at work. I could do my thesis writing at work. But then that means I might have to stay at work late when my thesis writing is approaching. I could still do some writing at home but then my ex is not stable and could play some trick anytime. With all these concerns and opinions from my Witty Sister and my Travel Companion, I decided to invest a new boy for the sake of my thesis and my degree.
I love new gadgets. Yet at the same time I do not want to be too spendthrift. As long as the tool is working, albeit it is old-fashioned or out-dated, it is fine by me. A tool is supposed to assist us in doing work, but not us in helping the tool. Recently I watched a documentary show and the host for the tv mentioned something he thought was ridiculous. "I just don't understand why some people got luxurious cars and left the car seats covered with the plastic shields still. They have to be so careful each time sitting on their car. Car is meant to be a vehicle transporting us from one place to the other. But not us being the cars' tools." He is so right. So now I'm going to make my new boyfriend work very hard. Damn, he better makes me feel he deserved the money I just spent.
♥ every page of my imagination
0 people traveled to my fantasyland
I just returned from a quick conference trip, which I would call as a trip sourcing for aspiration.This conference is a huge meeting, gathering more than ten thousands of experts working in oncology research. This was already the third consecutive conference I participated. It provides the latest updates in the field that is usually very helpful to newbies like me. Many researchers also utilizes this great opportunity for networking.
I noticed a trend, a learning pattern of my own developed over the last three years. For my first year in this conference, upon receiving the hundreds pages thick of program book, I did not know where to start and which session to attend. Since this is one of the largest oncology research conferences in the world, it is a norm to have more than ten sessions ongoing at the same hour. Looking at the program book, I only found heaps of jargon and absolutely had no idea would there be a link in my own research topic. Hence I tried to attend as many sessions as possible and after the first day out of the five, I became so exhausted (in addition with jetlag). I hardly understood and appreciated those lectures I attended. Then in my second time of my conference, I became "smarter", at least I know which session I should be picking. Well I was only picking topics that had relation with my own research topic. Although I was still partially dumb to understand fully the contents, my brain was doing some work in trying to relate the information with my own research design.
This year, I realized there was some changes about myself. Since I am completing my research degree and I am uncertain whether I will pursue a career in research and even if I do, it might not be in oncology, I needed not care which sessions should I be attending. I mean it was still rather tough choice to decide which one I shoud go, at least I could just sit there and listen to topics I am truly interested and need not worry how would I apply that in my own topic. I could literally feel myself nodding my head (not that I was falling asleep) but a body reflex when understing and agreeing with the notions of the speakers. I was even gathering inspirations (facts and figures) from some of the talks for my thesis, which is pending to be completed fairly soon.
For the past few months, I was having a constant battle in my heart. I came to a junction after a long straight drive of a freeway and felt lost of which direction I should turn. I've been contemplating hard and had even talked to several people hoping they would give me some advice and insights. I know I like what I am doing now. But when compared to many of my peers and seniors, I realized I do not have a very strong passion. Yet at the same time, I like to do what I am doing now, not for money, not for fame, not for power but more for helping people ultimately and eventually. I was hoping by attending this conference, which might be the last scientific conference I would be attending, if I have decided to have a career change after my degree, I would be able to see a clearer picture of what to do next.
I would not say I have found the answer to clear up what's been stirring my mind for the last few months now. But at least the close to ten thousand miles of traveling was still an experience and it was still a good source of aspiration. I think I am moving my car now after hesitated for so long at the junction.
♥ every page of my imagination
0 people traveled to my fantasyland
I watched a show interviewing a well-known professor (Professor Yu Dan) from China, who recently held a series of lectures in interpreting the Anelects of Confucius. Anyways, neither was she talking about Confucius in that interview nor I am going to discuss about Confucius here.
There were a few interesting little stories that this female professor brought up that I really liked and have inspired me. On top of that I managed to work out my facial muscles and while watching the light-hearted interview show. But I just want to highlight one here.
This lady professor reminisced a little incident that she learnt from her daughter. One day while having a nanny looking after her few months old baby, the nanny pulled out a lot of toys on the bed. The whole bed was flooded with different variety of toys, colorful soft toys, expensive play toys, toys that making funny sounds to attract people and ex cetera. The nanny took out all those toys and showed them to the few-month-old one by one telling her, "Look at this baby, this is so beautiful, play with this..." The baby did not even look at the toys in front of her. In fact all she cared was to play with a water bottle that happened to be there on her bed. No matter how hard the nanny tried to distract her attention by tempting her with all sort of fancy toys, the baby remained indulging herself playing with the bottle.
"We can be very subjectives at times. We tend to make others believe and follow what we think is best. We (the adults) think the expensive, colorful toys are interesting. Yet this was not what the baby thought. She probably was thinking that water bottle was the best toy at that time."
After hearing her story, it actually reminded me such experiences I have had in life. Parents thinking kids should do certain things because the parents think that would be the best for the kids. We want our friends/family/significant other to do certain things, telling them that would be the best for them. Yet little did we realize something we think is the best might not be the case in other's mind. The best thing is still to respect others' decisions. If it involves us, we could discuss about it but we still have to respect the final decision, which might not be something we would agree. After all you just want the person to be truly happy in what they are doing.
♥ every page of my imagination
0 people traveled to my fantasyland
There are ups and downs in life. There are big and small matters bothering us. Sometimes it takes a second to clear our mind. Sometimes it takes a long while to figure things out. Sometimes we may actively want to talk about our problems with our friends or some even seek professional counseling.Talking our problems with someone we trust or we know will give us helpful insight is necessary. It helps us to look at our problems from a different angle. Even others might not have an immediate solution for us, at least talking about the problem helps us feel better; we just need to release the negativities out of the system.
Yet sometimes we could be swamped by the problem itself and have forgotten to seek help from others. If we pay attention to the people surrounding us, we may be able to identify them. It certainly does not harm if we stop by and casually chatting with them. If they are comfortable, they will gradually open up. Recently I bumped into a coworker who looked pretty bothered, in fact she was hiding in a room crying. I politely asked her whether if they were anything I could help. I did not solve her problems. I was not able to solve her problems. All I could give was lending her a pair of ears and some encouragement.
With this said, I would like to take the opportunity to thank H. for dropping by to chat and be a fantastic listener.
♥ every page of my imagination
1 people traveled to my fantasyland
