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Friday, March 31, 2006 @1:27 AM

As mentioned, I was catching up with TE the other night with YC. After dinner, TE and I went to take the subway. He was staying at a hotel that was 4 stops after mine. He was telling me how he likes to travel around and open up his eyes to gain different experiences. He then turned to me and asked, “So when are you going to really travel around this continent?” I laughed and said, “When I have enough savings.” “Then by that time, you’re most likely about to leave this place and you probably might have other things that hold you back from doing so.”

He might be right. I have always heard many people, usually older people telling the younger ones to experience more when they are still young. I remember I was a little hesitated when I was offered the studentship here. Not that I doubted my decision, I was, however having this tiny bit of uncertainty. Am I making the wisest decision? I might be pursuing a bubble dream? I called and talked to my aunt. “You’re still young. You really should grab this opportunity to open up your eyes more, get more exposure. One day when you look back, you’d be glad that you actually took the chance to do so.”

I am always proud of my background. I mean my background of being able to stay in three other countries at different continents for a long period other than my home country. I’ve experienced different culture, different weather and different education system. And then I’ve met different people with various backgrounds, different religion, different mentality and speaking different languages. These experiences have enriched my life. These experiences have somehow inspired me in one way or another. They make me grow. I really can’t ask for more.

Before I got off the subway, once again, TE reminded me to not miss the chance and convenience of traveling around the continent while I am still studying here. “Don’t worry. I am experiencing life, maybe just not solely from traveling around this continent. I do it by other ways.”

I do have plans to travel around this continent. Not only that, I do want to travel to other places in other parts of the world. Although I am not exactly planning any actual touring trips around for the moment, I am however also exposing myself by going to different conference trips. This really motivates me to work and focus in completing my thesis. It gives the four years of Graduate school flavor instead of just enduring the struggling and disappointing moments of generating results for the write-up.

So people, I am all set to opening up my eyes now. In about 5 hours’ time, I have to take a flight to attend a conference across the ocean. I feel that I am a kid now. I am actually feeling excited about it! I wasn’t until yesterday. I will be back soon to share about my experience. Who knows I will have access to the internet and find time to post an entry or two? Meanwhile stay motivated!


every page of my imagination


1 people traveled to my fantasyland

@12:49 AM

I always find how amazing it is to compose countless tunes by just using seven different notes. Music tunes from classical, oldies, pops, R&B, whatever genres you can name of.

I started listening to pop songs (it’s actually 80s to be precise, but it was pop at that era) when I was in Grade 4. My classmate lent me some Hong Kong singers’ cassette tapes (yes, CD wasn’t that popular then). I immediately became madly in love with pop song since then. I started purchasing lots of albums. My parents started becoming worried about me. They were scared that I would neglect my studies because their daughter had been tuning in the radio days and nights and even sang along whatever music was playing on the radio while she was supposed to do her schoolwork and study! Not only that, I introduced my siblings to listen to the music I loved. I was even torturing my little brother; at that time he was just like around 1yo. Every morning I would blast the radio loud and made him dance at his small bed with me. Up till now, once in a while when I go back for vacation and while my sisters are back from summer break, we would have our so-called rave party. What a wild bunch of kids huh?!

I listen to quite a variety of songs. Yet I have my own favors. There are still some old songs I’ve listened for many years. Certain songs would just naturally remind me of certain events directly associated with the songs. Sometimes some songs have nothing to do with any events yet when I listen to them; the songs would project certain specific events.

I am also a bit obsessive when it comes to music. I can keep repeating a song for a continuous period. I’ve even made friends and sisters to come directly to my face, “Can you change to another song. I’m really sick of listening to this song thousands times!”

I received a request from AA few weeks back to put up Savage Garden’s “I knew I loved you” music video. Did I tell you guys that I love this song too! But I am reluctant to put this song up because I’d put it up few months back when I was having this track on repeat. Another reason is I am currently having a few other songs on repeat; I listen to these few songs when I am at home, at work or even singing in my mind. So what are these few songs? One of them is PCD’s Stick Wit U that you’re listening now (if you’re having your speaker on). These few songs have been accompanying me going through all the busy moment at work or when I crave for some sweet. Nope, you didn’t read wrongly, I did mean these songs taste so sweet. The sweet tune has the power to make me felt energized and happy when I was getting impatient at the stuff that I was doing.

If you hate the current music video now or if you’re getting a bit sick of Stick Wit U, I’m afraid you just have to mute your speaker. I’m not planning to change the track that soon. Hey, but just in case you happen to like this song too, I hope you’d feel energize, because I am. : )


every page of my imagination


0 people traveled to my fantasyland

Thursday, March 30, 2006 @12:20 AM

“You are an opinionated person!” my senior from the service club I participated during middle school noted this to me.

That was something new to me. I had never thought that I was opinionated. Well at least my mother had been telling me the opposite since I was much younger. She thought I was very depending on them.

Now I am not trying to say that it is wrong not to be opinionated and vice versa. I think if you have a thought or belief about something or some, then you should express it if voicing that out is not going to hurt anyone. But if you have no opinion, then it is still all right. As long as we are not extreme and run over the board to become a self-opinionated person who only thinks ourselves are the only correct ones.

As mentioned in my last entry (Guy friends), YC and I met up TE for dinner. I also talked about how we chatted. During the chat, some environmental issue was brought up. YC and TE did not share the same view. That’s all right because everyone has different views and there is no right or wrong for our views. However, they just somehow started arguing. The debate even turned to a rebuttal later. Now these two friends of mine are quite an opinionated person. I was sitting there listening to their exciting debate. I did not join in. Not that I did not have thoughts about the topic they were talking; I just felt that it was really not necessary to jump in to add more oil to the burning fire.

I have come across many opinionated people, especially at work. I have to admit I am an opinionated person too, sometimes. I do voice out my thoughts in certain occasions and situations. But to me, my opinion is just my view, though I might be certain of my opinion, I do not that they are necessarily the best or the wisest of all. I used to argue with others when we did not hold the same view. I would go to the extreme, just like what my two friends did that you had the strong urge to change the other’s mind. Most of the time, an unpleasant scene was ended.

Nowadays I always try to avoid arguing with others. I would rather listen to others and then tell them about mine too. A friendly exchange of views is much more desirable. No one is perfect. Opening up to listen to others will help us learn. An opinion is just an individual preference. We shouldn’t take it too personally. I am really glad the two friends of mine did not end up contributing a news headlines for tomorrow's papers. Phewwwww…


every page of my imagination


3 people traveled to my fantasyland

Wednesday, March 29, 2006 @11:27 PM

TE is in town this week. YC and I arranged a dinner catch up with him. I think his last trip to the continent was months ago.

Anyway, have you tried Lebanese food? It was my first time tonight and I like it. Yeah right, sounds like I just love all food. :) We were not that hungry so we decided to order several dishes of tapas-like Lebanese food. Ok, I admit I felt the hunger after digging in the first two dishes.

Ok, it wasn’t just about food for the evening. We had some fun chatting about different topics. I wonder what do you chat with your guy friends? I was sent to a girl’s school for both my primary and secondary education. So up till there then, I only hung out with female friends. The only time I had some interaction with guy friends was when I participated and co-organized some extra curricular activities with people from other schools. It was certainly a drastic change when I did my senior HS in Country B. Not only I had male classmates but I started making friends with guys too. Since then, my social circle has been expanding and become more and more balance with friends of a mixture of both genders.

All my friends, boys and girls have different personalities, characters, backgrounds, nationalities, races and ages. When I hang out with certain bunch of friends, I will automatically switch the communication board that matches with them. I think in general; when I hang out with female friends (regardless of age), we can talk girly stuff, gossips, complain about anything that seem to be regarded as feminine. What about to guy friends? I used to think I tend to talk about masculine stuff like politics, economics, work and stuff like that. Occasionally I find it funny that I do gossip or talk some girly stuff with some of my guy friends. I did not realize this finding there then. It was just so natural and mutual that I can talk about those things with some of them. I guess maybe at that point, it was either I treated them as my girl pals or they treated me as their buddy! Hah, I sound like a sexist, don’t I? Probably this assumption isn’t true. I should not generalize anyone. There are really guys who do gossips. Gossip is not exactly a female’s thing.

YC is usually a gossip type of person though he denies it all the time. When it is a one-to-one communication, he would instantly reveal his gossip trait; whereas TE is relative more “masculine” in this aspect. So what happened when these two guys meet? What would they talk? How do I usually interact with them? Well tonight we made jokes about our common friends, some current affairs and teased each other.

The night ended up quite early though it was still an hour later than I planned. It was good to be able to catch up with TE and to hear him updating news from the other side of the world. You know, funny how it is that at one point an interesting question just popped up in my mind quietly while chatting. So to all my female readers, how do you hang out with your guy friends? What do you guys talk about usually?


every page of my imagination


2 people traveled to my fantasyland

@5:25 AM

My fondness for writing is growing everyday. I have never realized I would enjoy writing that much. I hated all the essay writing home work and examinations as a school kid. Even up till now I still have difficulties in writing up scientific reports for publications.

However this blog has become part of my life now. It is part of me. It is my heart. It is my mind. It is a place where my thoughts are displayed gathered from what I see, hear and experience.

Since I started this, I have been exploring different writing styles in expressing different thoughts from various aspects. I really enjoy doing this. It allows me to express myself in numerous ways. I was not born with the writing passion and skill. I do not even think I can write well, even in my mother tongue (Chinese). To provide some evidence regarding this, I did check out the history and background tracing back to 4-5 generations of my family. There was no poet, writer or whatsoever in my family. English is not my first language at all. In fact it was the third language I learned in my home country. I was a bit hesitant and felt slightly intimidated when I started this blog. Plus I am long-winded person. My entries are usually long. So this blog is really a blog with many words but not a pictorial blog. And most of the entries here are insipid that attracts very few readers. Still, I keep writing because I enjoy doing so.

Recently I realize it is not only about enjoying, I am discovering myself a lot more through writing. I always have a lot of thoughts wondering lingering in the back of my head. Do you call this reflective? Anyway, I am not sure have any of you sensed a subtle difference in my recent entries compared to the older ones? I am not dropping hints there was some drama going behind stage. I would love to share or entertain you if there were really some. I may appear as someone who does not reveal too much here. This is not really the case in actuality. I am who I am here. I might have exaggerated a little in some of the dialogues (just rephrasing to make it …you know, sounds better). Other than this, all entries are genuine. They are my eyes, ears, heart and mind.

So what is the subtle difference? This is the great thing I just discovered from writing. I have to admit recently (the actual time frame is yet to determined) I experience some difficulty in expressing myself here. It is not the so-called bottleneck. I have a lot in mind still to share here at least the topics I intend to discuss will last for a month’s worth of entries. Perhaps I am a bit busy? No, not really. I mean, yes I am busy catching up with work. I still, however, do get some time. It does not take that long to write a short entry. Yet, the moment I sit down to start typing out my thoughts, I just can’t express myself. AA agreed and noted to me that probably I had to explore the writer’s mind when I mentioned to her about this feeling I just described.

She may be right. Isn’t it known that you could sense the emotions or experiences from a piece of writing? Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying my writing is up to the mark to be that influential. I am Miss Nobody and cannot be compared with other writers. But the smart you know what I am trying to say here right?

So what is it that is currently restricting my flow of writing? Well, for me now it is time to explore – the writer’s mind that is. Ah the writer’s mind, how I love this term. Is the writer asking too much if she wants to hear from the readers’ minds?


every page of my imagination


0 people traveled to my fantasyland

Monday, March 27, 2006 @11:02 PM

Close to twenty years ago, a young school girl was encouraged to take part in her school’s story-telling competition. She wasn’t exactly sure what the competition was. Or I should put it this way; she didn’t know what she was supposed to do if she had to register for the competition. Nevertheless, she went ahead because her mother and her aunt told her to do so.

“I don’t think I would win,” the small girl muttered.

Of course she was right. She didn’t win. How could she win if she was too nervous and forgot half of her story on stage?

Did she give up? No, not that she was really determined. Her mother and her aunt pushed her to sign up another competition again. This time, she protested and complained.

“I didn’t win last time. It is likely that I’ll lose again.”

“You shouldn’t give up before starting. Let me tell you a story.” Her aunt continued telling a story.

“There’s this girl who’s from Class X. She wanted to participate in this speech competition. She did her research on the topic and prepared the speech. Everything was well-prepared. But in the end, her teacher voted her out and chose the other girl. This girl approached her teacher and reasoned to her that she was well-prepared and was qualified for the competition. The teacher was embarrassed because she knew she didn’t like this girl. Yet this girl did not give up easily. Finally, the teacher had to compromise and let her sign up for the competition. But she warned her, “You aren’t that good. I have to let you go ahead with this just because you asked for it!”…”

“How did the girl go?”

“She came up as the first runner-up. She even beat out the other girl nominated by her teacher.”

After listening to the story, this girl agreed to participate in the competition. She practiced very hard, days and nights. Yep, she lost again. For the next three years, she didn’t win any story telling competitions for 3 languages her school held. Was she disappointed after each contest? Yes, of course. But the story her aunt told her remained in her mind. She treated the other girl as her learning model. At one time, one of her class teachers crossed her name off from the participation list giving the reason that she had participated too many times and should step down to let others have the chance of participating the contest. The girl just shrugged and unlike her role model, she did not fight for her rights for representing the class. But she did not give up either. She still continued to participate for the rest of the competitions. Just when no one expected this girl to break her record, she became the champion for a speech competition in her school when she was in Grade 5. Since then, she was the frequent champion for other speech contests for three languages. She even represented her school for speech competition up to the State level for two years.

Many years later, this girl was on her final year (an additional as well as optional year of her degree). Students were selected to enroll into this optional year. They were assigned to a particular department to perform an individual research project for a year. The thesis work comprised 70% of the final assessment. Among the 25 students enrolled in this program within the department, this girl wasn’t the brilliant of all. In fact she came out as one of the lower ranks. Anyhow, she was hoping for miracle to happen. Who knows miracle would make her a great scientist right? No, miracles only happen in fairy tales. This girl did not do that well in her overall assessment for that year. Based on her result, she stood no chance in applying for Graduate school, needless to say being awarded a scholarship to do so. She was upset and disappointed. She went to talk to her supervisor then and her course co-coordinator respectively. Both noted to her that she was not suitable for research.

“You should be happy that at least you were accepted for doing this optional year. Your overall mark from the past three years of your degree wasn’t that remarkable. Now you’ve done this additional year. It has opened your eye of what is research. With this extra experience you gained from here, you should be able to find a better job than other students who did not do this extra year.”

“But I really want to go to Grad. School...”

“I don’t think you are suitable. Not everyone is meant to do research. And you still can be in research. You can get a job as a research assistant and still get a lot of fun out of it.”

So this girl walked away feeling more upset because this time she has lost hope. Her dream of pursuing something she thought she would enjoy and good at was dashed all of a sudden. It hit her real hard. Perhaps her mentors were correct; she should not be too ambitious. She should know her limits. And what her mentors said was proved right after going through many rejections from her application for graduate schools. She was left with no choice except to find a research assistant job that would be closest to pursuing her dream.

She thought she had given up Grad. School after she started work. But deep down her heart, there’s always a dim light of hope. Maybe I am not that bad after all? Maybe I can still make it for research. With the many “maybes” spinning in her head, she decided to give it a final try. She started applying again. She was rejected for her first application. “Oh well. What’s news?” The disappointment sank in soon enough she continued applying again. With this story coming thus far, what is your guess about the ending?

I’m afraid I can’t tell you the ending. I would love to, but the story hasn’t ended yet. Well, all I know was she was offered a position and she’s close to half way in granting her degree. How is she doing? Well, she’s pretty much engrossed in learning new things. She told her current supervisor that she’s not sure whether does she have talent in this field. But nevertheless she wanted to try and learn as much as she could. Her supervisor responded, “Almost everyone has been through this stage. Many of us said we have no talents. But in the end, some of us are able to make it.”

Perhaps this girl can become a star in this field. Or perhaps she’s really not that good and will end up in a different career. At least she has proved to herself that she did actually make it to Graduate School in spite of what her former mentors had predicted.

Who said you can’t make it? If you don’t try, then you certainly can’t make it. But if you try, anything is indeed possible.


every page of my imagination


2 people traveled to my fantasyland

Sunday, March 26, 2006 @11:57 PM

Funny. H. (aka NC_State_Gal) commented that procrastination sometimes just provides us with the impetus to focus on things in their due time in response to my second last entry. I happened to have a real life example to illustrate this freshly baked from the oven. Earlier on I mentioned that I was intending to have a major thorough clean up in my apartment (refer previous post, Burn). Well, the great procrastinator as usual hadn’t really put her words into actions. She has very good excuse this time since she’s too caught up at work. The apartment has been in a mess for this long; sure it can remain in such condition longer until more timelines at work are met right? I thought so. Well things sometimes just don’t happen in the way we want. Few days ago I received a note from the apartment maintenance unit that they would be sending some servicemen to my apartment on Monday to do some work. Oh well, I guess I just had to add one more item to my urgent-to-do list.

I spent almost a day to do a thorough clean up for my place putting other things aside. I really do not want the repairmen suffer when they enter my apartment tomorrow. Phew…I’m really glad my place is clean and tidy now. What took me so long to get this done? The apartment maintenance must have known that I really needed this big push to get my house-cleaning task done huh? Ohhh, has the Maintenance Manager somehow discovered my blog and read about my intention of cleaning the place?!

Timeline isn’t all that bad. We might be stressed out with timelines. But on the other hand, it just makes procrastinators like this girl here get things done. Procrastination isn’t all that bad, sometimes. Hehe…


every page of my imagination


0 people traveled to my fantasyland

Saturday, March 25, 2006 @6:39 AM

“I don’t want to be fat!” the pig screamed.

“I understand. I don’t want to be fat either. The more I weigh, the faster I’ll be sold and slaughtered for my meat.” the chicken agreed.

There’s a Chinese/Cantonese saying that goes like this, “Pigs are afraid of being fat whereas people are afraid of being famous.” Perhaps you’ve figured its meaning. It was implying trouble might be associated as a result of being famous. In other words, if you’re good in something, you are likely to be an easy target of jealousy by others.

Jealousy is one of the obvious poisons in humans. When we see someone is doing better than us, we could be unhappy and sometimes angry because someone has something we want. When we see someone is having something or someone we want, we could be eaten up with jealousy because we might be thinking this person might take something or someone that we love away from us. Sometimes some people could have petty jealousy about us for unimportant things.

So all in all, jealousy is around day in and out everywhere. We do not have the power in changing others’ thinking. Yet probably we could do something to make ourselves a less obvious target.

I’ve seen some people in real life who appear to be the target of jealous from many individuals. These people usually have this apparent high-profile gesture which, I think is likely to attract jealousy. They are attracting too much unnecessary attentions that might lead to more negative comments such as jealousy directed to them. On the other hand, if you’re doing well for something yet you try to be as low-profile as possible, no doubt you might still attract some jealousy here and there, the chances of you drown in the pool of jealousy is slimmer.

It is difficult to change others’ mind. Moreover we shouldn’t give a tinker’s damn about what others think. Yet, sometimes if possible, we should not create too much trouble to ourselves. A peaceful and quiet day is always better than a miserable war day. If being low-profile could make life easier, why wouldn’t we do so? I’m not saying being in high-profile is bad. If one is truly excellent and well-known for it, then naturally one deserves to stay high-profile if one chooses to be. The worst is some enjoys getting the attention albeit they aren’t that good in actuality. Have you heard of the term “empty can”? This term is referred to this category of people. If you insert a coin or two to this “empty” can, it’ll make a lot of sound if you shake it up and down. However a can that is filled up will not make any sound. Unless you enjoy the spotlights shining on you, if not I still prefer having some room doing my things without too many pairs of eyes starring at me. I really don’t want to be fat!


every page of my imagination


0 people traveled to my fantasyland

Thursday, March 23, 2006 @6:49 PM

Sometimes I like to keep myself busy to be occupied by work (work wise and work from some voluntary chores). They just make me feel that I am not sitting here wasting time. When I am busy, I have to forge myself to focus on the things that I am supposed to do; therefore leaving no time for thinking too much. Two English poets, Lord Byron and William Blake had said something similar respectively, “The busy have no time for tears.” And “The busy bee has no time for sorrow.”

Sometimes when I am too busy chasing my dreams, struggling for survival or coping with the daily routines, I feel that I have neglected certain important matters such as health, family or friends and sometime alone for myself. When was my last serious workout? When was my proper reunion with my family that I actually sat down and had a wonderful warm time dining with them? When was my last hangout with my buddies/pals? When did I last pick up a book and finish reading it? Jane Austen mentioned it best, “Life seems but quick succession of busy nothings.”

Sometimes I feel that I am just busy for nothing. I am heading no where. It is just barrenness of a busy life. Then I start to feel that the fuel is running out. I guess that is the sign of burn.

Work has been overwhelming for me at the moment because I’ve procrastinated for an extended period. A part of me is enjoying it because I feel that I am utilizing my time productively if not meaningfully. Yet a part of me feels that being busy does not always mean real work. It just provides me a lame excuse of not putting time for others. And yes I do feel a bit tired with sleep deprivation. If you have been following my entries here, you’d know how much I cherish my sleep!

I quote “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” Unquote. That’s so funny but true. Oh well, I think it is really good for me to be busy at the moment. It isn’t all that bad after all if I still find time to ramble here. All right, "life" continues now...

every page of my imagination


2 people traveled to my fantasyland

Wednesday, March 22, 2006 @6:09 AM

My sisters and I have been major supportive fans for Hong Kong soap dramas. The only difference is one of my sisters would actually do a “research” before watching any shows. She’d actually check out the story plot, the casts, the trailers and stuff. Whereas the lazy me doesn’t bother to do so most of the time. I could just start watching any show without knowing anything. I guess this really explains why I could easily indulge myself in a not so interesting soap drama than my sister.

My daily routine begins from the moment I wake up every morning. Most of the days, we’re expecting a boring routine [note: “boring” is a subjective description here]. Then there are some days we know we’ll be doing something kind of “new” or out of the routine, which may or may not be something you will enjoy. For example you are sent to deal with a client somewhere far and you hate it because 1)you dislike all the hassle of traveling 2)the client is a difficult person 3)you are not used to the task… Occasionally we are forced to face some challenges in your life. You’re all disheartened when things aren’t heading where you wanted. You’re all disappointed because the outcome is not what you wished for.

How do I relate this soap drama with what I am intending to say? I think we all just love to fix a mindset for our lives. No doubt most of the time most of our daily lives are pretty routine and repetitive. They could be interesting too. Say, work has been the same, social life has not been that exciting; the digit in our bank account is not shooting up…if we keep thinking like this, we’ll never enjoy our daily lives no matter how interesting it turns out one day. Calm and slow days may not be that bad after all; that just means “Hey, good to know there's no disaster for you.” And who knows something exciting may appear one day out of the blue? Then there is stuff that sounds tedious but you do not seem to have an option of ignoring it. I tend to tell myself that instead of fixing my mind that this stuff is negative, I rather open up my heart and go ahead with it. Probably it isn’t all that bad in the end? At least I know this unexpected stuff is something to stir up my routine. What about major issues or dramas that emotionally affect us so much? They might appear as a horrible upsetting drama now for us. But hey, things do happen for a good reason. Those dramas are there to open up a door for something better later.

I love watching those Hong Kong soap dramas without knowing anything about it. I enjoy watching the dramas with no expectation set. The same goes to what I’m trying to view my everyday life. The moment I wake up, I’m telling myself this is a brand new day. I get out of the bed and welcome my day without much expectation, just like watching another soap drama. Now you know what a diehard fan I am of soap dramas! :)


every page of my imagination


2 people traveled to my fantasyland

Tuesday, March 21, 2006 @5:05 AM

I am an easy-going customer. It is really easy to get business from me. I am that sort of customer who will just walk in a shop and check out the stuff that I need without giving too much trouble to the sales representative. I do not usually ask the sales rep to lay out all models with different color, design or size available for each model, then spend a long time asking many questions excluding another long decision-making time. If the sales rep is lucky, the customer would check out an item after all this hassle. I know many customers are like this. I guess they are classified as “fussy” customers by the sales rep.

When comparing with these so-called fussy customers, I think I’m really easy-going. Probably I’m just not utilizing my customer rights. I just dislike bothering people although I know I’m entitled to.

However, I think in actuality, I am much fussier than those fussy customers. When I walk in a shop, I like to browse through the stuff ALONE. There are some sales reps who love to come up to the customers and offer help. This is certainly considered as good customer service. Yet I do not enjoy being “stalked” while browsing at the shop. I’d feel pressurized. I have had numerous such encounters. You know what I did? I just walked out of the shop. Oh well, too bad for the shop of losing a potential business from me. Yes, it is good that the sales reps offer assistance to the customers. I think they are doing the right thing to make them obvious and telling the customers that they are standing by ready to serve. To me, that is already sufficient. You don’t have to follow the customer around. I would just take that message as, “Hurry up. Buy something.” Probably they didn’t mean it that way. Nevertheless giving the customer some space and time to think about what they want to purchase is part of a business psychology. Well, at least to weird customers like me.

I am also someone who does not go for the best quality goods provider if their customer service sucks. For example, if a particular restaurant has the best food in town, yet the waiters/waitresses are arrogant and unfriendly, I am very likely to not dine in there. No doubt if the business is products-oriented, the company should definitely prioritize the quality of their goods on top of the rest. But they should not neglect about their service and service manners too. They all come in a package for the business. I’m not saying the sales reps should be sucking up the customers. Those “Hi, how are you?” “How are you today?” lines that come out automatically the moment the reps (goods or service oriented business) see a customer and putting on a fake smile are not appealing to me at all.

Let me share with you some of my experiences. I usually make orders for my work over the phone. There’s once I called up and gave some catalogue numbers to the rep. Apparently I was confused with the quantity associated with the item that I wanted to purchase, therefore I had to ask her for her advice. The rep became very impatient. Although I still made my purchase with her in the end, I was somehow quite reluctant to make any more purchase with this company despite they are the sole agent for some products that our laboratory is using. Two weeks ago, I made another purchase with this company. I hesitated for a while before picking up the phone. What if it were the impatient rep picking up the phone again? Anyhow, I made the call and surprise surprise, I changed my mind now. The boss of this company should be thankful to this rep whom I spoke to over the phone. This new lady was extremely friendly. I had to ask her to describe two products that looked similar to me from their webpage. She patiently walked me through the descriptions. I had to make another special request to another two products too. She wasn’t sure about them and spent some time checking out for me. After hanging up the phone, I felt good and am happy to give my business with them next time.

There’s this restaurant my family loves to dine in back home. It is not a fancy restaurant and to be honest, the food is not the best we have ever had. Yet my family and I do like to go there every now and then. The boss and the waiters/waitresses are friendly in general. Funny it is, the hospitality of a restaurant can simply make the food more delicious or change our taste buds.

Yesterday I was emailing to a new company for some questions about a potential purchase. The sales rep impressed me again through her emails. I can tell she’s trying to form some friendly bond with her customers, or potential customers. How does she do it? Here is the little trick:-

Sales rep’s reply: Kind regards and have a nice week! Finally the sun is here and hopefully soon the Spring!!!

My reply: You have a wonderful week ahead too! Yay for the sun and hopefully it can be a little warmer to walk outside without the melting slippery ice.

Sales rep’s reply: :o) Sounds great to be able to go outside without freezing or worrying the streets being slippery!! :o)

Can you feel the friendliness? Hmm…she could be pretentious. But I couldn’t feel it. I just feel that she’s just genuinely nice. And it doesn’t mean that you have to pretend to be so friendly to attract customers. All I am trying to say is, if you put some “heart” and passionfor your job, especially as a sales rep, your customers will feel the subtle difference. This subtle difference is what that keeps the customers coming back to you and not rendering their purchase to your other competitors. This is what I refer as professionalism of a sales rep.

Customers may not be right all the time. Yet they are smart enough to tell and judge from the service they receive.


every page of my imagination


0 people traveled to my fantasyland

Monday, March 20, 2006 @7:02 AM

“Two persons three feet”, have you ever played this game? I am unsure whether this is just an Asian game. Anyway, this is really common in Asia, especially as an event of some sports or game competitions. I couldn’t remember whether I have participated this before. Perhaps I did for only once but I’ve observed many times. Basically how it works is, you have to tie one of your feet with your partner’s and then walk, run, gallop (whatever you and your partner find efficient and comfortable about) to reach the end point.

I am not a big fan of this game. To be precise, I am not major fan for many sports. But I do know the trick of winning this game; you and your partner must share the same consensus and sometimes even understanding each other tacitly. Just imagine if one walks too fast leaving the other struggling to follow his/her pace, obviously their feet will hurt. If one insists to move faster but the other finds it tough, they will eventually lose out in the game or worse still both will trip and fall because of the lack of coordination. All in all, this winning team is not actually the fastest but a team with coordination, which allows them to move forward at their comfortable speed thus defeating others.

I don’t usually share much about my thoughts on relationships. I realize my previous entry (Can it work?) has laid an opening about this topic, though I didn't intend to talk talk about it when I started composing it. Ah well, I might as well elaborate a bit more on this topic here. The “sharing the same view and consensus” was brought up, which reminded me of this game.

I am certainly not the best person to share on this topic. However I do get lots of vicarious experiences and insights from many good examples from others surrounding me. I’ll just take my parents as an example. My parents are not the most perfect loving couple I’ve seen. Yet I have always learned a lot from their marriage/couplehood; some good parts and some bad parts.

My parents celebrated their silver wedding anniversary few years back. Geez, if you can spend 25 years with someone and going through lots of ups and downs, you must have some magic there or to the least there must be something that makes you stick with this person to share practically everything that long right? I look at my parents. They aren’t particularly very loving in front of us or probably that’s the actual truth. They are just like many couples out there. My parents can share very different views sometimes. They argued, quarreled and for a few times had cold wars too, especially when they were much younger. They still do. Their romance isn’t a fairy tale. They do worry about practical things such as finance, kids, households and internal conflicts from both sides of their families. No matter how big the issue is, somehow they find a way to resolve it. In other words, they will somehow come to a consensus even though they may not find the best solution to deal with whatever problem they are facing.

I always see one party has to accommodate to the other. Now the funny bit is it seems that my dad is always the one accommodating my mom. But that’s actually not really the case. There are certain things my mom will certainly listen to my dad. That’s right; both sides do need to accommodate each other at some point.

I do, however, find that it would be better if my parents could be more open to discuss and communicate with each other. My parents each have their stubborn sides. My dad can sometimes “not speak” of what he is thinking. Yeah, isn’t this a typical man thing? Whereas my mom is just like many women out there who can be overly sensitive and complains a lot. It is funny to see their problems as their children. This is something I think they need to cross talk, which is to communicate more. However there are certain times that they know what each other is thinking without him/her expressing it out verbally. Ah I guess they do have some tacit understanding too.

Well, all in all, there is no special magic for a sweet fruitful relationship. The two persons really have to just work it out. Although there are no easy shortcuts to make it work, it is no complex formula. Remember what the “2 persons 3 legs” game has taught us; you and your partner have to communicate more and come to a consensus when conflict starts (or even way before a conflict begins). It is not a matter of moving fast or slow, but how comfortably the two person move forward together.


every page of my imagination


2 people traveled to my fantasyland

Saturday, March 18, 2006 @8:21 AM

Department of Medical Science Freak’s Tabloid

CITY S, COUNTRY D - - Friday (17th March 2006) is a memorable day for Dr. ZM. ZM, a recent PhD graduate from Saving Lives Medical University tied the knot with her fiancé after a three-year long distance relationship.

Three years ago, ZM met her husband in this campus. ZM’s husband was on an exchange program to this country for a short period of time. But that didn’t cease the immediate attraction between them. They fell in love shortly despite of him going back to his country to continuing his studies there.

And finally the loving couple was announced as husband and wife at the wedding registrar office of City S today. Everyone at ZM’s workplace was truly happy for the couple. ZM and husband are now all set to welcoming a new phase in life hand in hand together. – Pseudo-Reuters

***

Yesterday was a slack day because it’s Friday. However there’s something really unusual; everyone was talking about ZM. ZM got married yesterday!

JH: Do you know how ZM met her husband?

Me: Yeah, she told me before.

JH: Do you know he’s from another country across the ocean?

Me: She mentioned that too.

JH: It’s so amazing that they worked it out. Awww, it’s such a sweet story!

Me: Definitely, what’s more awe-inspiring is they were on long distance for THREE years!!

Do you have faith in long distance relationship?

“Long distance will not work!” This is how many of us will respond and think. I don’t know and I was like one of them, and just assumed it would not work. Yet, when I open up my ears to hear more, there are numerous stories I’ve heard throughout all these years that proof this assumption wrong. They are real life stories heard from a distance and stories I’ve seen myself.

My college mate was on a 4-year long distance with her fiancé then and now husband. He was doing his specialization in paediatric medicine in another country while she was finishing off her degree in Country B. A year later they didn’t reunite because she had to go back to her home country to help her dad’s business.

I met this lady who’s staying in the next building on a bus. She told me that she was married two years ago but her husband is in another country. They started the long distance relationship before the marriage. Out of curiosity, I asked her thoughts about this.

Me: Don’t you find it difficult?

Her: Of course it is very tough for my husband and me.

Me: Why don’t you go to the country your husband is working now or he comes to you?

Her: We’d considered that. But after discussion, we thought that it is better for me to get this job here for a few years and he stays there for his. Then we’ll be together later after this. This is just a transition period.

Me: It’s great to hear that both of you can be so understanding and are so willing to work it out.

Her: Sometimes he’ll fly over to see me and I’ll take vacation to go and see him. It’ll work as long as we put the effort.

While I was working in Country C, there’s this Vietnamese lady who was working there. When I first came to the laboratory, I was told that she just returned from her wedding back at home (Vietnam). I was like, “Whoa?!” During my 2 years of work there, I’ve constantly seeing the couple putting the effort in maintaining the marriage and relationship. He’d chatted with her and she’d called him. Each time after talking to her husband, she’d this glory happiness look. Even till after I quit the job, she was still there. A year later after I left, I received an email from her telling me that she’s now back with the husband and an addition to the family was on his/her way. I was so happy for her.

There are many more successful cases I’ve heard. Yet all these case studies have shown the magical trick there. Long distance is really tough! But if the couple puts in the effort and works it out together hand in hand, it can be as sweet if not better. It is possible.

I know a couple who’s working together. This is something I really don’t understand. I am someone who doesn’t like to work (career wise) at the same place/unit/team/room in an organization with my spouse. I do think some space is needed. I mean I don’t like my husband or my boyfriend is my work mate as well. Anyway, this is not what I intend to discuss in this entry. So back to this couple who are doing postdocs in my lab. They work together in a project. So that means they are 24 hours together with each other. So one day, again out of my curiosity, I told them my doubts.

Me: Don’t you guys find it strange to work together and then see each other at home again? I mean don’t you feel suffocated a little?

Wife: So far we haven’t felt that yet. We cherish every moment we are together now.

Me: Yeah, but…

Wife: We were on long distance for a while before we got married. And this postdoctoral position here is not forever. After we return to our country, we are not likely to work together. We’ll be working in different hospitals.

Sitting back and giving some thoughts about it. I think the words from these people who’ve been through or going through the long distance relationship themselves do make sense. What makes you think a non-long distance relationship will work perfectly fine? The risk of a “normal” distance relationship will not work is equally the same as long distance. It is just like two arrows moving towards a direction. Now it doesn’t matter so much of where these two arrows coming from as long as they share the same direction/purpose/vision. Even if the two arrows come from the same point, if they’re heading towards a different direction, they’ll still not meet. Sometimes this long distance thing does make the couple cherish each other more. Because you know it is difficult to be with this person, you’ll extremely appreciate every single moment to be with him/her. Even if you and your sweetheart are together in a “normal” distance relationship, it also doesn’t mean you’re really spending quality time together. This is what the Vietnamese lady used to joke about. She joked, “Quality is better than quantity.”

After hearing all these real life cases, I do have faith in long distance relationship. But as they all emphasized, “Effort has to be made from both sides.” I think it’ll all work out if both are willing. It takes two to get going. One thing though, there should be a duration (I would say not more than 3 years) for long distance. You won’t want to not to be together with your love for years and years. Geez how can you stand not seeing and being together with him/her in a long period of time?

Can long distance work? Well, anything is possible.


every page of my imagination


2 people traveled to my fantasyland

Friday, March 17, 2006 @6:42 AM

There’s something my dad did to me when I was about 2 years old that I will never ever forget. I have been telling myself that I would never want to do that to my children or other people.

My dad is the most wonderful dad on earth. I can’t ask for more. Yet as we all know, no one is perfect, including my dad. He’s a responsible and caring man. He’s my hero! But my dad has his flaws too. He doesn’t keep his promises, especially to his children. I am not saying my dad likes to break promises. He does try to make everyone in the family in particular us, his treasures and source of happiness, happy. If he could get us the star in the sky, he really would get it for us. But probably he’s a busy man and forgetful too, he tends to “forget” what he has promised. Or probably he doesn’t think keeping all his promises that big deal if the promises are on small things of no significance to him?

I remember one fine morning around 25 years ago, dad was at home. I hadn’t seen him for a while because I stayed with my grandmother while my parents were staying with my paternal grandparents. Plus my dad’s always on business trip. So that morning the 2 year old was elated to see her dad. That was a special day because my dad, maternal grandma and I were going to the hospital to welcome my mother and my new baby sister home. My dad and I were waiting at the living room for my grandmother. I saw the ice-cream van passing by the neighborhood. How could a 2yo kiddo resist ice-creams? Straightaway the kid rushed to her dad and asked him to buy her one. Her dad made a deal with her. If she made a short performance, he would buy her one. The ice-cream enthusiast instantly came up with one. At the end of the performance, she went to her dad and waited anxiously for the ice-cream. Man, she’s just asking for an ice-cream, not a moon! No, my dad didn’t buy me one. He didn’t want to buy me one at all at that time for no reason.

“But dad, you said if I perform, you’d buy me one.”

“…….”

“Dad, you are not keeping your promise.”

A quarter of a century has passed, I could still remember this childhood story. Few years ago when I was home, my dad, grandmother and I were chatting. I brought this up. My dad was stunned for a moment. He didn’t expect I would remember such small incident for so long. My grandmother said she could remember. Yeah, my grandmother has perfect memory for the past but not the recent ones.

My dad explained, “I didn’t know you would really take my words so seriously. I didn’t expect you to perform immediately. And I wasn’t planning to buy you the ice-cream anyway.”

If you have already known you would not buy it, then why made a promise in the beginning?

My dad was once invited to attend my High School’s Teachers and Parents’ Association meeting. The school wanted to nominate my dad to be one of the committee members. The Principal called me out one day. She expressed her will and asked me to pass the message to my dad and if he’s willing to take up the responsibility, he needed to come for the election and they’d arrange the rest. So I went home obediently passing my dad the message.

“Sure, tell your Principal that I’ll go for the meeting.”

“Are you sure you’ll be going? You’re so busy. And please don’t simply make promises to my Principal. She’s not us who are so used to your “invalid” checks.” [note: invalid checks is a Cantonese saying referring to checks issued without a signature that you can’t bank in or cash out. It is not valid!]

“Of course I’m going. Just tell her that I’ll be there.”

I didn’t completely believe that my dad would turn up. I’ve known him too well. But still I was hoping that maybe he’d go.

“Didn’t your father say he’d come for the meeting?”

“……”

“We waited for him but he didn’t come.”

“I’m sorry. Perhaps he’s busy at work and couldn’t come.”

This time I didn’t make a big fuss to my dad because we were so used to it. Yet, I'm more determined that I don’t want to be like my dad.

I don’t want to promise somebody the earth. Even for small things that I know it is not tough in achieving, I still don’t like to simply make a promise. Usually, I’ll tell the person, “I’m not sure. I can’t promise/guarantee but I’ll try.” This line is close to a promise from me. In this case, you more or less know I’ll be really trying. But still it is not a promise from me because of some uncertainty that I’m aware of. At least for sure you know, I'll keep my promise for trying my best since I said "I'll try". Of course I don’t mean that I don’t make promise. I do make promises, not always but quite often to things that I know I’ll certainly make it. Once I’ve made that promise, I do keep it regardless of some unexpected hurdles. If I can’t make it all the way, I’ll definitely inform the person whom I made the promise to soonest possible.

Promises don’t come easy from me. But when I make one, I’ll really keep it; otherwise the other party will feel the disappointment. Trust me, I know how it feels. It is not something I like others to experience.


every page of my imagination


2 people traveled to my fantasyland

Thursday, March 16, 2006 @6:41 AM

What took me so long to find this out? I ought to know it by now! Why it took me all these years to understand this. There is no success but failures. Life is nothing without failures.

I was supposed to get a table constructed for a pending to be written manuscript a year and a half ago. It will not be a fancy table with complex numerical figure. It was supposed to be the first thing done and checked before I pursued that study further. Yet being a great procrastinator, I’ve put off till this last minute when the study has come close to an end. It’s no big deal; I just need to spend 30 minutes in front of the computer and clicking some buttons to analyze the experiment done during summer 2004. What happened? I ended up going back and forth of the analysis for almost 2 days! Not a single line or word was constructed! At first I thought I’ve had the analysis done after fiddling around the program for few hours. I went away happily with the “raw” (turned out to be wrong data) data. I referred to a previous data and found out that I’ve left out a crucial part in the analysis that made the “raw” data in hand WRONG. So I went back to the program trying to redo and fix those left outs. It was another few hours spent excluding another wrong step done during the process. Till this entry, I’m still not quite sure whether I have it analyzed correctly.

When I first stepped into research field, I was hit badly with failures in experiments. I was greatly disappointed with myself. I complained. I cried. My first step of my project for my final year (entire duration for that research project was about 10 months), it took me 3 good months to get it worked. Needless to say there were many steps before reaching the final stage so that I have some results to writing up the thesis. I didn’t get anywhere close to Step 3 unfortunately. But that was really ok; everyone in that field understands that. While complaining and venting what a failure I was, someone sarcastically said, “Hey, research just basically means, re-search. That is to search what will NOT working again and again.” This guy who told me this must be as nutty as fruitcake? I thought so.

Looking around of what I’ve been doing, other than RESEARCH at work, I’ve been RESEARCHING a lot in other things in life too. I hardly get things work on the first few times. There were a few times I did make it work on the first occasion. That was really like hitting the jackpot! Just when I thought luck was on my side, the magic didn’t work for the second and subsequent time.

One thing I really love about my work now, I mean medical science research is I’ve been constantly hit by failures and by now I’m so darn used to it. The moment I get a new stuff work on the first trial, I’d become very sceptical and start to wait for the failure that is bound expected next time. And most of the time I was correct. How lucky can you be every time? I mean come on, let’s be realistic a bit; you can’t be an expert in something new. How would you get it work perfectly well without more practices? The more practice you get, the higher chance you’ll screw things up, and therefore we get more failures.

The constant failures from work has really trained me well and prepared me to facing more failures in life. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in many matters thus far. The way you deal with certain things. How you should perceive a problem? How to get along with someone? How can you be a better *insert your role* to others? Being a freshman and inexperienced explain this all. As you get more experience (note that experience actually means more failures encountered), you’ll gradually find your way. I personally find myself learn much better each time after a failure. The amazing bit is I can also see other sides of myself during each encounter.

But let’s not be disheartened by failures. Success is really nothing if there is no failure. The great inventor and believer of failure, Thomas Alva Edison always stressed, “Every failure a success.”.

I can foresee I’ll make more mistakes in future. But hey, as what Mr. Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work…” So who cares about success? Life is nothing without failures!


every page of my imagination


4 people traveled to my fantasyland

Wednesday, March 15, 2006 @6:03 AM

I loved my landladies. Am I being sarcastic here? Let’s see…

Since I moved out, I’ve been renting places everywhere I stayed in all these countries. Thus far, I’ve had three landlords. I’ve heard heaps of stories about fussy landlords. It is rather difficult to maintain a good relationship between landlord and tenant. You’d be glad if you don’t end up badly with your landlord.

I was having real problem in finding a place to stay after my immediate move out due to the incident I mentioned in my previous entry (Good Old Days Part 2). In the end, I shared a three room townhouse with two new people I just met during the house hunting. To be precise, I was their subtenant. No, I am not referring them as my landlord(s) at all. So this townhouse belonged to a Greek family, who was staying next door. There was a bit of a drama later on in my stay there. I am not going to elaborate much about that because I believe that encountere have made me learned about some sides of human nature. To cut the long story short, the students weren’t honest about the actual rent of the whole house and thus incurred me with a much higher pay rather than a fair share period. Anyway, back to my Greek landlord and family. So that was my freshman college year. And the Greek family was my first landlord ever. I was staying at a student hostel the year before after stepping into the soil of Country B. Thus the thought of having a landlord is somewhat strange to me. The thought of seeing your landlord almost everyday when you walk pass their house is bizarre.

In the beginning I was struggling to settle down. I was beginning a new life there despite that was my second year of stay there. Almost all my pre-college mates known from previous year disappeared to different colleges. And I was having trouble in coping with my studies. To start with, I wasn’t even familiar with the new neighborhood. During this time, my landlord’s mother, an old Greek lady approached me. She asked me to join her for weekly grocery shopping every Saturday morning. I thought she was just being nice seeing I was all on my own in the first few weeks. She also invited me to her house for some yummy Greek delicacies for tea. There was once that I hurt my eyes and was panicked of getting help. Without much hesitation, I knocked on her door and she immediately dropped her housework and brought me to the medical center. Seriously I’m still very touched about her kind gesture. I don’t know why. I really like her a lot. Looking at her, she reminded me of my maternal grandmother, though they are two distinct individuals. I didn’t know how we communicated. She speaks very little English and I don’t understand any Greek word. Yet we always chatted while walking to and from the supermarkets. That was when she introduced some Greek culture to me. After a year, I decided to share an apartment with a pre-college friend and my younger sister who was coming to join me the following year. It was so hard for me to say good bye to her and her family. Her eyes were watery when I finally had to leave. I really like her. 9 years has passed, I still appreciate and can remember her and her family for being a wonderful landlord to a young girl struggling to survive on her own alone by herself.

I have my third landlady when I was working in Country C. (This is the last landlord in my record thus far. I am currently staying at a student apartment owned by an organization/company.) This was once again an unplanned move. Initially I was staying with some relative. After a month, the sudden news of her wanting to sell off the condo prompted me to move. Thank goodness with my dad’s friend’s help, I found this apartment nearby my workplace. But the only thing was I had to stay with my landlady, who’s an old widow. She looked a bit unfriendly when I first met her. But very soon, that impression was erased completely. My landlady is a wonderful cook. She always fed me with different yummy food. Since she’s retired, she has a lot of time participating voluntary jobs and spending time cooking with her friends. Every now and then, she would bring me food. Geez, did that explain why I couldn’t lose weight while I was so stressed and burnt from my previous job?! There were a few times I was sick, she even made me some porridge and traditional medicine! She said she treated me like her daughter. My landlady is illiterate of English. I was her translator for all her letters and stuff at that time. We missed each other on the day I left Country C back to my home country before I left for Country D (where I am now). She held my hands and wished me luck. As much as I was eager to leave Country B for Country D to start a new life, I was worried for leaving her. I hope she would manage to find some tenants to take over my room and the other room. I didn’t mention during my stay there I managed to meet two friends, a Korean and Japanese. My landlady had two rooms to rent out. But she always had problem in getting tenants to stay long. I guess I was the exception.

I haven’t had the chance to go back to Countries B and C for a visit. Anyway, no matter where I go, I’d never forget these two landladies. It is already fortunate enough to have just one sweet encounter. And I have had two! What makes it more lucky is, come to think of it, there were some bitter encounters/events that led me to these two sweet encounters. If you know what I am trying to say. I think I’m really lucky and blessed.Thank you so much. =)


every page of my imagination


0 people traveled to my fantasyland

Tuesday, March 14, 2006 @5:47 AM


“Have you eaten?” You must find it awkward if this is the first line you hear upon meeting/bumping into someone. What? Can’t they say something else? This line just sounds a little too peculiar.

Well, actually, this is a way of saying hello for the Chinese. They don’t really want to know whether you have really eaten. You see, food is immensely emphasized in the over three thousand years of Chinese culture. It has become the first and foremost concern whether you have enough food to eat. Food resembles the amount of wealth you own. The better food (not necessary healthier in this case), somehow speaks how well you live (meaning how wealthy you are). So naturally this culture has passed down from centuries to centuries and has become a casual habit way of saying "Hello".

If you go and ask your Chinese friends about this, most of them may not realize this. I presume your Chinese friends are around our age here. That’s right; it seems that the younger generation is not keeping this “Have you eaten?” trend. Things are changing including certain aspects and values of any culture. That could be one of the explanations. Another possible reason could be because we’re now living in the year 2006, technology has improved our lifestyle tremendously, many of us are well-fed and food is not seen as the only essential, especially in developed countries. I am, like many young Chinese out there, wasn’t aware of this “Have you eaten?” line until my dad brought it up once. No wonder I found it strange to hear my parents’ friends asked this “Have you eaten?” question to my folks or vice versa when I was young. Yet I wasn’t really paying attention to this. Many years gone by, I still didn’t get this correct. I just assumed someone was inviting my grandmother for some food when I heard someone asking my grandmother, “Have you eaten?”. Deep down my heart I was thinking, "Wow, this person's really nice to my grandmother. But she's just eaten, how hungry can she be?" Argh, how silly I am to just always think about food!! Now I finally know the true meaning of this line. A little too late huh? Speaking of this, I’m the type of Chinese who just says “Hello” (pronounced as “Ni Hao”) [你好] in mandarin or Cantonese. That’s the more conventional way for a lot of younger generation to say "Hello" to people now.

My exposure from residing several countries in different continents has further opened my eyes about some parts of other nations’ cultures. You’ll hear the line “How are you?” or “Good day!” if you’re at the check out counters wherever you go in certain nations by default. I wasn’t too used to it at the beginning. The cashiers sounded like some machine to me when they asked “How are you?”. Sometimes they said it too quickly and went immediately checking out all your items. I don’t think they bothered to wait for a second to see or hear your response.

If you go around and you’ll amazingly find that certain nations articulate on the way of saying “Hello”. Certain words are meant for the elderly or people of higher status than us. Some “Hellos” are more casual than the other. Some even has gender difference. For example, in Thai, if you’re saying “Hello” to a guy, you have to pronounce it as “Sa-wa Dee Krab” and to a girl, it should be pronounced as “Sa-wa Dee Kah”.

Which type do you prefer in saying “Hello”. “Hi”, “Howdie?”, “How are you?”, “What’s up?”, “How are you doing?” …I tend to just say “Hello” to people whoever I meet. I was once swamped in the trend of “How are you?” during my few years of stay in Country B where everyone just say this line by default. Sometimes it’s so natural for me to ask this and answer “I’m good, thanks.”, without giving much thought of my answer or others’. Did I mean what I ask? If not, why would I bother to ask? This thought just provoked me and since then, I’ve been really making an effort of putting more sincerity when asking “How are you?” to anyone. I am ready to give it a minute or at least a few seconds to patiently listen to others’ response. If I’m in hurry or I think it’s kind of awkward in talking to someone who is more of a stranger to me, I just say, “Hi”. Probably I’m a little weird in this. But I do realize if I can spend some time listening to others’ well being of the day or that moment, it really brings some meaning to me for that moment. This is the best time of showing our care to our friends or however this person’s related to us. I come to realize that we are always too oblivious of our own things. I’m not saying we don’t spend time caring for others. We do and many of us are doing that. That’s great; yet we are not aware that it really doesn’t take a lot of time and effort in caring for others. It just takes a few seconds or minutes of slowing down and putting some sincerity when asking how the person’s doing or feeling, will make a whole lot of difference. We may not be able to help, but at least being there to listen for a few minutes can be of vast help.

“¿Cómo estás?”

“Comment ça va ?”

“Come stai?”

Como estás?”

“Wie geht's?”

“Wie geht's?”

“Apa khabar?”

“Conas tá tú?”

“Conas tá tú?”

“Ngò gàttò?”
“Anh có khoe không?” or “Chi có khoe không?”

Can you figure out what I was asking? What about the following?


“Konichiwa”

“Ola”

“Hei”

“Zdravo”

“Bok”

“Salut”

“Han-gul”

Whichever I use, I just want to ask you, “How are you?” and I really mean it. So please do let me know how you are doing. : )


every page of my imagination


3 people traveled to my fantasyland

Monday, March 13, 2006 @8:38 AM

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I’m proud to announce to you that I have a tidy Jade-style writing desk at work now!! Yay!

Did I move or relocate at work? Nope.

You won’t believe this if I tell you I’ve taken over a nice corner desk sharing a big room (the biggest room of the floor) with a few others, yet I had never bothered to clean up whatever “leftovers” from the previous owner 1.5 years ago! Yep, that’s just me, lazy girl! How did I survive all this while? Well, fortunately my desk is big enough for me to pile stacks and stacks of papers. I was telling NK, “I’m the messiest person in the lab!” He laughed and noted that it was funny to hear this coming out from me and he couldn’t believe it. It is so true and I even further added, “The worse part is, I’m even more untidy than a lot of guys out there, at least in our lab.”

I have always had the urge of doing something for this. It’s not like I’m really a messy person in general. Most of the time, I’m quite presentably tidy. Yet I have always let the laziness rules me. Recently I’ve been going through some gluey phases. No, no drama or chaos. It was just one of those moments that you felt something’s not quite right and thus affecting you in certain ways. What I usually do is to pause, examine the root of the problem(s) and then deal with whatever I can.

While pausing there, I realized that I’ve already stayed here for almost two years! In other words, almost half of my stay here has gone, I haven’t really made myself as comfortable as I should. I mean, look at my work place and my apartment; I have stuff unpacked for 2 years. I have stuff stacked at aside that I am likely to forget about. Perhaps subconsciously I knew my stay here won’t be forever, and hence I couldn’t be bothered to unpack and pack later. That’s a lame excuse. It’s not like I’m going to leave tomorrow. I should, however, really take the advantage to make it my little place for me to enjoy the rest of my stay here. AA said in actuality, my laziness was to blame. That could be true too.

I’ve been putting off to doing anything about this, until I came to this gluey phase. Due to a combination of things, I just realized I wasn’t enjoying what I was doing each day. I was de-motivated. I knew I’ve got to do something about it.

So after contemplating my navel (yeah, I do that a lot), now it’s about time to put some thoughts into action. First of all, I need to clean up the mess, tidy up the place(s) and make them as MY Place. I spent two days cleaning and rearranging my work desk in my office. I chucked away tons of papers and unwanted stuff to the recycle bin and trash bin. I’ve rearranged the little notes I put up on the wall that my desk’s facing. It’s all done now and I’m so proud of the nice clean desk of my own.

I’m going to do the same for my apartment. I want to make it my comfortable little place. It’ll be MY place. No more unpacked stuff. I’m actually going to open up stuff that I brought and use them. If I’ve brought them with me, there is no reason for me to keep them untouched until the day I leave.

I feel so great to toss unwanted stuff out to the bin. I feel extremely good to see more rooms after emptying the trashes. A good start is halfway to success. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not referring to the success success. The success I’m referring is the plan you’re setting for yourself. No wonder, some people go for a hair cut after a break up. Some people get a job change after some unpleasant encounter. To them, by doing something (although not related to whatever drama they are going through) symbolizes good riddance. “Deep down you know it’s best for yourself…we know that it’s true, let it burn, let it burn, gotta let it burn.” Eh, no, I’m not promoting burning rubbish to generate smoke and dust to the environment. But you know what I mean, don’t you?

I think with a clean tidy Jade’s desk at work and a soon-to-be clean apartment, I shall be all set to revive some aspirations. Wait, I need to clean my lab bench too. : )


every page of my imagination


4 people traveled to my fantasyland

Friday, March 10, 2006 @5:57 AM

I had never imagined that I would come to this country for a graduate degree. Not even 3-4 years ago. It was a quick chain reaction of incidents that led me here. Where I am now might not be the perfect consequence of that reaction. But it really couldn’t be any better. I am content with where I am now.

My first acquaintance with Miss. D (refer previous post, Someone to call my best friend) close to 20 years ago, is really a marvel to my life. How would one suppose to know the strong long lasting friendship start from just that one brief moment?

I certainly would not have thought about getting to know a very close friend upon my first arrival in this continent. Sure, I was aware that I would know many people here. Yet, I wouldn’t expect that I would find a true close friend, whom I can share, many things outside work. She’s AA (refer post Glad to know you). Even though our getting together was just the few months, our bond isn’t torn apart after her return to her home. We’ve been regularly chatting and emailing each other. She’s very different from my best friend, Miss. D, whom I knew since childhood. You know, there’s always some obvious difference between childhood friends and friends you know when you’re a grown-up. But we both click instantly.

I have another good friend since college. I wrote about her in a Chinese post earlier on (August 2005). I’m not going to translate that entry. But it’s really worth mentioning how we knew each other. We found each other in a computer lab. She’s not my course mate at all. In fact she’s a year senior than me and she’s from a different faculty! It just happened that she was taking that subject as her elective and I was initially enrolled as a double degree (dual degree) student. While I was struggling with my information system assignment, this friend who was apparently occupying the computer next to me, for some strange reason saw my worried expression. She offered me with some help! Since then we've just somehow gotten closer and became really good friends. Now, if you don’t think this is a stupefaction friendship, I don’t know what would you call it. I have another close friend, whom I knew for years. We never shared anything much in common. We didn’t like each other that much, even before knowing each other. Yet, it was just one casual coincidence that brought us together. And then we found that, “Hey, this is a cool girl. I like her!” Years later, we still stay in contact. Isn’t that awesome?

“Hey, I really like you.” This line came out of my senior pal, KL’s mouth while she and I were taking care of the dishes. I wasn’t that close to her because she’s a lot senior than me in terms of age and career (she’s already an Associate Professor). I mean, we are from two distinct social circles, apart from the badminton team I was initially participating. I thought she was just joking. But she assured me she did mean what she said.

“You know, you’re a trustworthy person. I like you.” This was an unexpected compliment from NK, my coworker.

Wow, do I deserve all these compliments and good words from these people? I haven’t done anything particularly nice to them. Yet they still think I’m a nice person. Of course I’m not saying that we should do something nice to get compliments. All I am saying is, I have never expected this. I know all my flaws. But hey, I’m very astoundingly flattered.

All right, I could go on and on to share more about my other amazing surprise stories. But that’s not really the point of this entry. Neither do I want to make this entry to portray myself as a nice person that everyone just likes me. No, seriously, I don’t mean it that way at all. All I am trying to say is; life is full of surprises!

Yes, life is full of surprises. Be they friendship, compliments/flattering remarks, romance, career, family or anything that just happens anywhere, anytime. Just when we are calculating and mourning our losses, just when we are upset of our dramas, just when we are frustrated and disappointed of things that we want or whatever…we have failed to realize that there are plenty of surprises in our lives already, and more to come. While calculating what we don’t have, we’ve missed out a lot of what we already have. We only see the surprises when we have least/no expectation.

Life remains hopeful. Have faith!


every page of my imagination


1 people traveled to my fantasyland

Thursday, March 09, 2006 @7:10 AM

In one early morning, a car gracefully stopped at a corner of a crowded jam-packed street. Before the car came to a complete stop, one of its doors was opened. A 15yo girl rushed out from the car and ran to the car boot. She grabbed her bag swiftly as if she were some Olympic player. Just as we would expect her to rush to elsewhere, she paused and then turned back to grab another bag from the car boot. She pulled the two shoulder straps to make it easier for the smaller girl carry. When both were all set, both headed to a different direction. The older one was gone in seconds. But no, she didn’t. “Ouuuuch”. The little girl turned around and found the older girl with one leg kneeling on the street and then other leg stretched. The younger girl giggled but she went up to help the older one. She’s got bruises. One of her knees was bleeding too. “I’m all right. I need to run. You better go too.”

Later that night, the two girls met.

“You’re so comical…the way you fell on the street.”

“Hey, aren’t you sorry for me? There were so many people staring at me this morning.”

“Why should I be sorry for you?”

“If only I didn’t have to help you with your bag, I wouldn’t have to rush for my duty session. If only I didn’t have to rush, I would have not fallen on the street with so many pairs of eyes starring at me as if I were some crazy mad girl. Oh heck, I’m so embarrassed!”

“I didn’t ask you to help me. I could carry my own bag. Mind you, who’s always late in the morning?”

Right, so obviously the younger girl didn’t appreciate what her older sis had done for her. Oh well.

I realize sometimes we can do a lot of stupid foolish things for others that they would at least appreciate if not touched by our considerate and warmth gesture. I do this lot, especially to people who are close/important to me. Sometimes I am disappointed by receiving cold responses or no response. Yet the stubborn I still continue repeating being foolish. I think if you just want to do something for somone, you shouldn’t expect something in return, not even an acknowledgement, though honestly speaking, who doesn’t like to be reciprocated? If you do it, then don’t expect something in return. No expectation, no disappointment. Plus if you always want something back, that means probably we aren’t that genuinely nice and care for that person. Of course it is always human nature for us to hold back if we do not receive any response. But for people like my family, especially my cutie siblings, I still do whatever I consider is nice for them, albeit they may not appreciate the effort.

12 years later. The little girl is no longer little but the older girl is still big. They have their usual babbling over a distance. At some point, the topic of taking for granted was brought up in a funny way.

Big Girl: When you have someone cooking for you and have the food ready for you all the time, you won’t appreciate it. Then one day when you come home realizing there's no food readily made for you, and that you have to cook for yourself. You’ll start missing that person, the convenience and stuff.

Small Girl: Oh you must be missing me now. Haha... You took for granted for being able to take my school bag when you were in HS. And now you don’t even have the chance to do that.”

Big Girl: Huh? Oh nooo…why did you have to remind me this embarrassing scene? Yeah, you’re sooo right. I really miss that falling on the street just because I had to take your school bag!”

Small Girl: I just thought that scene is really funny. Hehe…I will remember that for the rest of my life. Geez, I don’t think there’s any sister on earth would help her sister until she fell on the street.

Big Girl: Argh, you’re so awful! You don’t know how fortunate you are to have such sister!

Small Girl: Oh, having a sister falling on the street because of me? Yeah, I’m so fortunate.

Big Girl: That’s it. I’m going to tell your kids in future that their momma is an ungrateful person. She doesn’t appreciate her older sister’s sacrifice.

Small Girl: I’m also going to tell your kids in future this, “Hey, your momma is really so nice to me. She bled for me and had the most hilarious pose attracting crowds at a busy street. You guys should be proud of her.”

Well, I guess maybe the small girl doesn’t seem to be that ungrateful. Maybe many do appreciate our foolish gestures yet they just don’t express it. Nevertheless, I’ll continue to be foolish. Isn’t that what we call unconditional love?


every page of my imagination


0 people traveled to my fantasyland

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