A gal pal of mine is planning to get married. That's not a big news to break here; it was about a funny little conversation she brought up when she broke me the news.Gal pal: Mr. P (her boyfriend) wanted to get married. We'll be going to see the wedding band.
Me: So he's already proposed, hasn't he?
Gal Pal: Well kind of...he been bringing it up several times. But I told him those don't count; he has to get me the ring and prepare something romantic to pop the question.
Me: Did you tell him this?
Gal Pal: Yes. I know he'd not know how and what I want, since I'm picky about the ring and he's afraid of buying something I might not like. So we will be going to the jewellers together and I'll let him know which one I like.
Me: That sounds easy for him.
Gal Pal: Exactly. I told him I didn't want to know when he would get it. I want it to come as a surprise. I told him he could either cook a nice dinner for me and then pop the question or bring me out for a romantic dinner and give me the ring.
Me: That's not a difficult task at all.
Gal Pal: Well, the thing is knowing him, I think he'd just hand me the ring by saying, "This is the ring you wanted." just like how he handed me a bouquest of flowers in Valentine's day, "Take it. This is for you." *looking angry*
A week later...
Me: So has Mr. P bought you the ring?
Gal Pal: Don't even make me to talk about that! *looking extremely unhappy*
Me: What happened?
Gal Pal: He gave some excuses like, the ring is expensive or he doesn't know my size.
Me: You guys are so funny.
Gal Pal: I even told him he could get my other ring and bring to the shop. And damn, am I not worth his one-month salary?
Me: ...*laughing non-stop*
Me: Well, you can always say NO to him and make him try asking again. But remember to take the ring and make him buy another one. *wink*
@@@
My another gal pal was telling me a little quarrel she and her SO had. It was not anything big but it illustrated the communication gap between the Martians and Venusians or I would rather say the Martians and the Venusians view things differently.
So how did the story go? My gal pal and SO bumped in their new neighbors and the neighbors expressed their friendliness of wanting to get to know their new neighbors more. So my gal pal's SO suggested to my gal pal of inviting the new neighbors home for dinner that weekend. My gal pal would love to meet new friends too but she realized the house was a little too messy and needed a weekend to tidy up before inviting guests home. She told him her concern and was trying to be practical of wanting a good rest for herself and him since they had a busy week. To him, he viewed it as, "What? Are you complaining that I'm making you cook dinner and do all the work?" He told her that he'd be cooking and that she could rest and do nothing. But obviously this did not come out that nicely and she viewed it as he was not understanding and despite how tiring they both were, he wanted the dinner to be held that particular weekend. Hence a quarrel was resulted.
I find it a lot easier to associate with the feelings of my gal pals. I can totally understand from their point of view. I come from Venus too, which explains why. Some people (mainly our male counterparts) do not seem to understand why us girls want flowers, a proper romantic proposal, an expensive many carats of diamond ring, that kind of stuff. Are we that greedy and materialistic? Well, I may not be able to speak for everyone, but at least I can assure you many of us are not that greedy and neither are we so materialistic. For those of us who love jelleweries, we could go and buy for ourselves. As for flowers, not many of us love flowers, at least I am not too keen in it. I think it is totally a waste of money. It doesn't last. And I don't even know how to appreciate it. Yet I still expect to receive once on a special occasion.
Then what is it that we are making it so complicated for our male counterparts? Why are we expecting them not only be the one who pop the question, but make it happen in a so-called romantic or to be precise a surprise planned setting? For myself, I think it is a symbol of sincerity and respect. As my first gal pal argued, "Am I not worth his one-month salary?" She is not comparing how much he should spend on the ring. I'm sure if the ring only costs 10 dollars, she would still happily receive it and nod her head, if she could sense his sincerity. I guess we (girls) view it this way; we know it is expensive to get the ring (and trust me, most of the time the girls are the ones who do not like their SOs to spend too much), yet you're still willing to spend on me, that means you value me more than anything else. It doesn't have to be a fancy romantic setting at all. You don't have to climb the Mount Everest and pop the question. Neither do you need to jump into the river in the chilling cold winter to show your sincerity. Something simple yet memoriable and sweet is just great enough. It is just like, the mother does not expect a 100% score from her son as long as she knows he takes the initiative to study without needing her to nag and pressurize him to go study. You could really sense it if the guy has seriously put an effort on it, especially the Venetians tend to have a sensitive radar system.
Are men are from Mars and women are from Venus? I personally do not totally agree although there are times both can have really different thinking. However even amongst men or women, we tend to think and view things differently. This is just human nature. Whatever it is. It is still possible for all to communicate with each other, as long as we all try to look at other's perspective. This sounds simple. However it is always easier said than done. I'm afraid there's really no short cut, except to communicate, communicate and communicate more. Of course my interpretation here for the Venetians' part may be wrong. Who knows I'm actually a Jupitarian?
♥ every page of my imagination
0 people traveled to my fantasyland
The following was forwarded to me by a friend of mine.@@@
I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me.
Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this, “You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes love.”; this was how I saw it:-
Advice, but don’t order.
Ask, but never demand.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
♥ every page of my imagination
0 people traveled to my fantasyland
I know I don't talk much about my boyfriend. I guess I have been denying how important my boyfriend is to me in my life, in fact my daily life.It'll be our fifth anniversary this coming May. I so not believe that our relationship lasts that long. I have to admit that recently I have thought about ditching him and getting a new boy and I have been having that thought for more than once. Yet at the same time he has integrated to my many daily activities; I can't imagine how life would be without his presence.
I don't have a house phone. All I rely on is my prepaid cell phone, which I hardly use; it is strictly for emergency. Since I spend most of my time in the workplace or at home, you could always reach me via office phone. Believe it or not it is easier to get my reply your email than picking up your call. But of course my preferred way of communication is the real snail mail. Oh but I digress.
I don't have a tv at home. I have been living without a tv for the past decade, with the exception that I inherited by my ex-roommie her tv when she moved out during my short stay in Country C. What? Don't I watch tv? I was a big fan of tv, and I still am. But for some reason I have never thought about getting a tv. Now I don't even have time for tv since I spend all my time with my boyfriend.
Not only I don't have a tv, I don't even have a radio. Yet life isn't that boring when I have the companionship of my boyfriend. He often allows me to tune in different R&B and pop radio station around the world.
This morning I nearly burst into tears. I felt all jittery when I found out that my hunny refused to talk to me this morning. Has he decided to ditch me now because I was thinking about giving out our relationship? The whole day I was a little upset thinking what would I do without my hunny. For sure I would miss all my sitcom episodes, online radio songs, my only communication with my loved ones, my daily reads or even a helpful tool when I need to do proper work at home. I was praying hard that my hunny would change his mind and come back to me. And he did.
Ah, I so love my hunny. Without him, life would certainly be a little dull. Heh, without him, you wouldn't even get to read this piece of romance mush entry. Thank you to the late Mr. Konrad Zuse for inventing my hunny,. Equal thanks also goes to my hunny's educators', Sir Tim Berners-Lee for inventing World Wide Web and whoever that invented the internet. And last but not least, thank you to my hunny, who has been accompanying me from Country C to D and has never deserted me every single day. Although occasionally I do glance around at other boys, but it will not be more than just a glance. I do not intend to get a new boy any sooner since you are the first laptop I paid for from my own pocket from my first job. No one can ever beat you, not even the 13-inch black 2GHz Intel Core 2 Duo 1GB memory with 120GB hard drive, although you are 40GB and not even up to 1GHz. But you know that's ok. I just love you for what you are.
♥ every page of my imagination
3 people traveled to my fantasyland
After mentioning about our new year's resolution, yes, it is OUR resolution, the next question is how to make our resolution sticks? If you happen to forget about our new year's resolution, let me remind you once again; we want to be happy.Sure, everyone wants to be happy. That's easy. Hmm, actually not quite; it is always easier said than done. Jobless people are frustrated in their job hunts. We're not happy when we don't get a pay raise or bonus. Parents are not happy about their kids not doing well as they are expected. Some singles are yearning for companionship. Some couples are dissatisfied with their partners. Students are desperate to get their degree, just like myself. Or why can't we get what we are aiming or wish for?
I'm sure the list could go on and on. Boy I could feel the grudge growing when I am typing the list. But this is not going to help. So the question is, how can we be happy when we have so much dissatisfactions in the emotional turmoil? Perhaps it is now time to look at the little things that could help us stay happy. The little achievements. The little things viewed from a different perception.
Still haven't found a job? The next one is coming soon.
Not getting a paid raise or the raise is too little? Hey at least you have a job that pays your bills each month.
Kids not doing as you expected? Well, maybe they actually know what they are doing, or at least they are trying to be creative (trying to be different from your set frame). Be happy and proud about them. After all you just want to see them happy.
Longing for companionship? You can do a lot of things you want when you are alone and not being disturbed. Cherish those moments.
Dissatisfied with your partner? This is what we call communication. If everyone is the same as us, it would be super boring. You need a bit of disagreement so that it will create the chance for interaction.
Desperate to get things done? It's good to hurry up but sometimes rush is not going to help. Why rush? Enjoy the process is the utmost importance eh.
Dreams not coming true? Oh come on, if we all get everything we wish for, then life is not so fun. We can't get everything, so stop being greedy dude.
These are the little things I think will help us stick with our new year's resolution, that is to be happy. Being happy is not that difficult once we have realized and appreciate the little things we have or little achievements we have made. Looking things from a different perspective would certainly help.
Have enough of my little things? That's not all yet. Let me finish off mines' by acknowledging Jade (not moi) for introducing me a very nice song called "Little things" by Keshia Chante.
♥ every page of my imagination
0 people traveled to my fantasyland
Welcome to the year 2007! First of all, Happy New Year folks! Speaking of new year, perhaps it is about time for some new year's resolution? What are my new year's resolutions? Have I thought about any? Well, as mentioned before (refer earlier post), I am not a believer for new year's resolutions. But I do have a "New DAY's" resolution. Oh what a hypocrite I am!
Few weeks ago, or to be precise, sometime last year, my close buddy Dr. AA the one who had her doctoral thesis written up, was telling me an interesting conversation she had with two of her childhood mates regarding planning for our future. AA and I happen to be working in the medical field. Coming from the same career background and going through the same phase of struggling through completing a degree and then trying hard to link draw a future in the same field, both of us were somehow lost in our direction. While awaiting the official green light from her institution, the soon-to-be Dr. AA is pondering hard about what to do with her future. So am I, although the date for my dissertation remains a mist, which also has been a little frustrating. Therefore, it is not difficult to visualise two lost beings scratching their heads figuring hard what they really want for their future, in terms of every aspect of their lives.
A really good example (the conversation my friend had with her two friends) was included, by way of illustration. So let me introduce the two childhood friends of my friend here to you; Ms Goals-driven-Planner and Ms Go-with-Flow. From their names, it is rather easy to figure out their personalities. So Ms Goals-driven-Planner is leading a successful career. Of course she has to work hard to be successful; whenever she has a goal, she works hard at it and goes to make it happen. She was given a promotion recently. Let's take a look at the other friend, Ms Go-with-Flow. Ms Go-with-Flow is more of a go with the flow person. She does not seem to make plans for her future. Thus she is still more or less in the testing water stage in her career. She seems to be happy with what she is doing right now and does not see that she has to move up. When she gets bored with what she is doing, she'll just move into something else. She doesn't have any specific goals except that she just wants to do something she thinks will make her happy and content.
So what about that conversation? How could the conversation between my friend and the two friends of her who apparently have very opposing characters be interesting? What has that conversation to do with my "New Day's" resolution?
Goals-driven-Planner (GDP): Don't you have goals?
Go-with-Flow (GWF): *shaking her head*
GDP: Don't you want to make sure when you are older, you'll have a good job that pays you enough to live in *insert a classy expensive neighborhood area*?
GWF: *still shaking her head*
GDP: Aren't you thinking about getting your own place?
GWF: *continuous silence*
GDP: Don't you want to buy a nice house for your kids and to be able to send them to good schools?
GWF: *another long pause*
GDP: If you wants those things then you should be working hard now to plan for those things so you don't have to work so hard later on for them, to struggle.
AA decided to interupt to voice out a little.
AA: Well, let me say something here. My parents hardly had anything when they started our family yet we (the kids) are all able to survive.
GDP: Same as mine but they struggled and had to work really hard and they're still working hard now.
AA agreed whole-heartedly about what GDP just commented. But still being also someone who is not so goal-oriented, AA was not completely convinced by GDP's working towards the goal concept. Hence the cease of the conversation while AA was left reeving in it. However in the middle of indulging dessert, the silent GWF who was only shaking her head previously in the conversation, suddenly announced and declared, "I do have goals!"
Yes, Ms Go-with-Flow does have goals. But she just does not plan too much but rather go with the flow and then work it out gradually as compared to Ms Goals-driver-Planner who plans and work on them.
My friend, AA, who is a combination of Ms GDP and Ms GWF, concluded that, "I concluded that you live life that way that you want and you have to live with the choices you make but when you have the same end goals you just make it work the way you want."
What about me? I think it really doesn't matter about how much a planner we are or how much the go with the flow we prefer, at the end of the day, it is our own future. Sometimes planning helps; say if you know you want to go for a Carribean cruise trip, then of course you have to plan on the dates (fitting the work schedule or other commitments) and the cruise (which company offers a good deal) you want to take. Those sort of practical stuff. It definitely does not make too much sense for you to research on airline promotion to Africa if you want to go for a Carribean cruise trip. However sometimes things work better without planning, better still a serendipitous surprise.
Although I have still not made up my mind what my future will be. Although sometimes I feel lost, a wee-bit about my next step. Although I am not quite sure whether I will like what I am doing now. Yes, although there are a lot of uncertainties for the future, my future and perhaps your future, regardless you are a planner or a go-with-the flow person, let us start making a new year's resolution together or in my case my new day's resolution; be happy with what we are doing/going to do. Yes, that's our new year's resolution.
♥ every page of my imagination
2 people traveled to my fantasyland
