Do you ever fathom and appreciate that.....
a coin has two sides?
a conversation can only be carried out between two, one who talks and the other who listens?
a business involves two parties, a vendor and a client?
When it comes to seeking assistance, same analogy applies. Two parties will be involved, someone providing the aid and someone as the recipient.
Have you ever played any of the above-mentioned roles? I'd played both the giver and the recipient roles many many times in different situations with different people.
When you're seeking help, it's natural that you're so overly perturbed and the only thing in your mind is to get the appropriate help as soon as possible. I totally understand that feeling. That's why I am always deeply grateful to those who've rendered their help to me whenever I yell. Because of this, I like to reciprocate to those who've helped me.
At the same time, I like to be the giving part too. I like being helpful to as many people as possible, especially to friends I know. Yes, it's because I have a big heart. *lol*. Whenever anyone turns up in front of me for any forms of help that I can afford, I always try not to disappoint them or at least give some suggestions to ease their problem(s).
Unfortunately I notice that some people do take this for granted. Some may even think that I'm obliged to fulfill all their requests right on the spot. I can understand the frustration and agitation they're experiencing at that urgent point. But sometimes the one seeking help has to understand that he/she's now requesting help from someone and the givers might be busy doing their own things too. They don't sit there doing nothing but waiting to answering your instantaneous request. Moreover what they are doing might be as equally important. We just have to take this into account and be a little bit more considerate and patient when we ask for help.
When I need help, no matter how desperate I'm, I don't expect anyone to drop everything and answer to me straightaway. And I won't feel much offended when someone declines in offering me help although I really wish they could render me some. They might have a valid reason of turning us down. Even if they don't, we still have to respect their decision because they have absolute rights and freedom to say NO. Getting personal about it ain't helping us at all in getting the problem solved and worse still may burn the possible relationship up with this person.
Most of the time we're just too engrossed in playing our own role and have completely ignored others. We have to realize that it really needs both parties to work out the "deal". Try to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, we'll be able to perceive their views that we were unable to see when we were at our own side and believe me you'll be likely doing exactly the same as the person who just did.
The next time when you're seeking help from someone, please think of "If I were in your shoes...." before you are filled with dismay if that person doesn't offer immediate help to you or if the help isn't exactly what you wished for. Also, do not take those who're always helpful for granted, in fact we should be immensely thankful to them because they could have just said NO without giving you a reason.
♥ every page of my imagination
