I'm pretty sure you have heard about this Danish folk tale, "The Emperor's New Suit" by Hans Christian Andersen. (click on the title to read this story). When I was first told about this story, I was shaking my head, pouring scorn on this emperor. He's such a nut. How could he be so foolish in listening to what others said who were all apparent to lie to him. Couldn't he felt that he actually wasn't wearing anything?
Well, this emperor's certainly moronic, as he was listening blindly to fake praises and comments he wanted to listen. But in fact many of us behave just exactly like this emperor. We are such a dope who (only) like to listen to nongenuine praises and sweet talks, but not the truth. Don't believe me? I'm not simply making an asinine comment here. It is really true. When we get some negative feedback about ourselves, we get so upset and sometimes furious about the person who mentioned it to us. But when people coming up to praise us for whatever, we all are just flying higher and higher and be elated.
Yes, everyone likes compliments and praises. Who doesn't like our ego to be massaged? But not all compliments are sincere and genuine. And it is the same that not all negative comments are bad and insulting. They may be the truth and sometimes we are so blind that we can't easily notice it until a third eye sees it.
Let's just take a step back in our daily events. I'm sure we've come across with problems that we need to deal with, especially when it involves other parties too. For example, we have a fight with some friend. Then we go and talk to our friends and people we know. Do you realize we tend to choose to listen to people who will tell us this, "You did nothing wrong. It is his/her fault." "You're doing the absolute right thing." But when we hear a comment with least favor to us such as "You shouldn't treat so-and-so this way." "Don't you think you have some attitude problem in handling this incident?" We will immediately defend ourselves and perceive whoever is "criticising" us as our biggest enemy. We convince ourselves that we are always right. These people are not in my shoes and they don't know me well. They are just jealous of me and want to say negative things to hurt me. You know, we just have too much ego, too much pride.
I'm not saying all criticisms or comments are the truth. In fact we should not give a tinker's damn about ridiculous criticisms (as mentioned in previous post). But what is important for us to note is, sometimes some comments are meant for our own good. If we have done something not right, we need an honest mouth telling us what we should improve. Although sometimes the truth can be hurtful, it will bring more pain to us if we keep on listening to pretentious words.
I am really grateful to people who can come up to me telling me what I have done wrong and assisting me to do better. I need a fair judge, an honest opinion and a sincere heart. However I realize nowadays there are lesser and lesser people who dare to come up to tell you things you don't want to listen. It's not that they are not honest. They are just too afraid that they'll lose a friend or add an enemy to the list. This is human nature. Instead of telling you the truth that you need to listen, they prefer to tell you things you wish to listen to make you happy and their status is secured. It is just like this folk tale, no one wanted to be honest to this emperor that he's actually not wearing any special suit, instead he's walking around in nude. Why? These people just didn't want to risk of losing their lives, possession or whatever by telling the truth to the emperor.
Ok, unless you really enjoy walking around in nude like the emperor and pretend you're in a glorious gown/suit, if not I really don't think it is fun to only listen to things we want to listen but not what we should. :)
♥ every page of my imagination
