We love complications. Thus when two human-beings are involved, the complication rolls bigger. Having a good human relationship with everyone surrounding us is such an onerous task. How I wish we could have some formal education or a book in teaching us some strenuous efforts in handling this formidable task.
This subject sounds horrible, doesn't it? Yeah, a lot of times we are just caught up in situations and sometimes we are either screwing someone up or being screwed up when the situation's not dealt properly. Believe it or not, it is so easy for us to remain upset and furious for a long while just because of one small thing that is out of whack. So what can we do about this? I mean it is really difficult to live a hermit life and not interact with other people. Therefore minimising interaction with others certainly won't help. I guess the best is just deal with the matters as wise as we can, and regardless of the outcome, we just move forward. As long as we have the right intention in mind, which is trying not to hurt others deliberately, we shouldn't have the guilt trip and certainly shouldn't let it effect us emotionally. The idea would be just deal with the matter as simple as possible and not involve bias judgment with other individuals even though they are doing wrong.
Two days ago, my coworker, JH came to me with anger in her face and started bursting out all her annoyance about someone from other lab. She was extremely exasperated.
JH: So-and-so didn't want an old apparatus and decided to throw that away.
JH: I thought we could inherit that and they agreed. I have been using it since then.
JH: But So-and-so came to me just now telling me that they wanted it back.
JH: How can they be so gall. Things given out shouldn't be taken back anymore. They belong to the recipient.
What would you do if you were JH? Angry? Irrirated? Argue with the person that they have no rights to take back stuff given out?
Oh well, yes, I guess once things are given out shouldn't be taken back because it's already given away and doesn't belong to us anymore. But, there is no absolute wrong for them to take back too if they had paid for it in the beginning. Anyhow, if I were JH, perhaps I would be irked a little. But irksome won't do us any better. Neither does going up to argue with So-and-so helps too because this will just blow up the matter. It is just an apparatus and this one is even an old one. I would happily just let them take back and get another one for ourselves. I mean come on, this is just an apparatus. Even if it is an expensive one, there is still ways to solve the problem. It is not wise at all to be upset about the entire matter (I won't call it an issue at all). Plus it is really not smart to further complicate the already complex human relationship with others. Probably we would feel displeased with people being impolite with us. Well, it is them who are impolite. If we get affected by their impoliteness, aren't we also behaving like them too?
There is no definite answer in dealing with all the circumstances in human relationship. The older we are, the more experiences we are exposed, the wiser we become and the better we become in handling this. Wisdom is extremely important. But wisdom will only appear if we have a calm-abiding mind. Eh, are you wiser today than before?
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Update: JH is still upset about the matter. She was talking about this matter again just now. I mentioned that we couldn't do anything to change So-and-so, we just have to leave it behind and find alternatives in replacing the apparatus. Hope she gets over it soon and not has to suffer from the negative emotions.
♥ every page of my imagination
