I have been thinking of posting this up...I left the draft in the folder 2 months ago and didn’t continue in completing it. Not that I’ve lost interest in it, I just have too much to talk. But with my vacation approaching to an end, there is no other impeccable timing than this moment in summing this up to help me navigate a bit.
Let’s rewind back to the scene of one late evening few months ago at work…
NK: So…what do you want to do after your degree?
Me: Um…I’m going to find a rich guy and get married.
NK: Are you serious?!
Me: Yeah, why not? *evil laugh*
I have admiration and high respect for many professions out there. I’m not familiar with too many diverse professions; however I still find the career life as a researcher in science is one of the toughest. I’ve heard countless grumbles about the low pay; the salary is especially low if you work out the number of hours you put in. It is also one of the highest risk professions; you can lose your job anytime once your grant is not extended/renewed! It is a very stressful job that places you competing with many fishes in the pond of water. Believe it or not, medical science research is not only about science, it is also about linguistic, arts and computing skills. You need to have excellent writing skills for your scientific publications and grant applications. You need to somehow have some artistic talent to be imaginative and creative enough. You spend most of your time working with computers with many advanced exclusive softwares and hardwares that may even make you a computer expert! Oh…you need to have good stamina like a marathon runner too! Unless you have some really gentlemen colleagues around willing to spare you some help, if not, you will find yourself a superman /superwoman climbing up and down, walking here and there fetching/carrying samples, equipments, reagents and stuff like that. Needless to say, we work overtime most of the time or in odd hours based on the experiments progress. (This is how that conversation was actually taken place.)
I am not a skillful person when it comes to doing experiments. I am really clumsy and most of the time I can screw the entire experiment with just a stupid mistake in a simple procedure. I have no talent in writing whatsoever. Neither am I artistic nor creative. I only know how to operate a computer for leisure purposes. And let me tell you a secret; I barely got through my HS’s physical fitness examination every semester all those years. Now this is getting serious! What am I doing now? Why am I spending the few years of my prime time on something that I know I have not a bent for?
I wasn’t gliding effortlessly to where I am now. My former supervisor of my final year undergrad project and my former course coordinator told me straight to my face that I would still be able to stay in research as a RA but nothing further. And they were right because I wasn’t accepted to a full studentship in Grad school after my degree. So I left school and proceeded in taking up a RA job. But my heart has never left; I always wondered how life would be as a postgraduate student. How challenging it would be to be able to run a 4-5 years project of my own. How courageous and patience I would be in demonstrating and teaching undergraduate students? I was happy to earn money each month but those “what ifs” had always stuck in my mind. Maybe I just need a new job or I truly want to go back to school… That got me starting to apply for Grad schools and new jobs again. After leaving the mind in ferment for a long while, I was fortunate enough to end up where I am now.
Time is passing quickly, I’m now moving towards the second half of my degree and I know it’s also about time to think about my next step. I don’t know whether I will really end up getting a position in this profession. Probably I would be so fed-up of all the hurdles I am encountering now; I will just start a new profession. Or I could just have a career change years later. Nevertheless, I am really happy about where I am now. This is because I know I won’t be looking back one day thinking I didn’t give myself another chance in trying out Grad School.
I love and enjoy what I am doing now though I know I’m really behind in many realistic matters compared to my pals around my age. I have to go through many down moments and frustrations when things are not working well for me. Yet I know I am acquiring something new each day, within the scope of my research training and also about life. I truly hope to practice and share what I’ve learned some day and ultimately benefiting mankind. However, even if I end up something else later, I know the time and effort spent won’t go down the drain. It is really the experiences gathered that will bring us to the next phase of whatever we will be pursuing. And you know there are some skills that you can just acquire through a few more practices with zero aptitude.
Mr. Nice once said, “We don’t have too much choice for many matters in our life. But one thing we can have some say and control is on things we want to do in life.”
My best friend, Miss D sent me a supportive message on a postcard and I’ve put it on my writing desk at work. It goes like this, “Follow your dreams. Don’t settle for less.”
I have been telling AA that I don’t like to live regretting one day because I didn’t give myself a go on things that have been lingering on my mind. Of course I wasn’t referring to things that I know will kill myself or are hurtful to others!! *lol*
Now back to my convo with NK…yeah I’ve been working at odd hours. Maybe I’ll hit a point thinking I’ve had enough of research and pack my stuff to marry a rich handsome guy! That’s nothing wrong with that. *muahaha*…All right, I was just kidding. All I can say is I am happy to exposing and experiencing all the things I'm doing in life right now. Whatever is my next step, I will still happily march forward, or to the least walking slowly because I know I’ve given myself a chance to try.
You really don’t need to be a superwoman to follow your dreams!
PS:Coming up next will be about Cinderella. I'll be back... :)
♥ every page of my imagination
