I was a liar. I used to tell countless lies, big or small regarding serious or non critical matters in my life. Until one day I felt so tired because I had to remember the stories I made and worse still making up more stories to cover the previous stories, if not people would realize that we lied previously. That’s still not the best part; I was constantly having this guilty conscience. And I really didn’t like this feeling at all (and I still don't). Some of my lies hurt others a lot including my loved ones. Why am I telling a lie for my selfish reason and thus taking advantage on others? If someone was to do this to me, how would I feel? Sure I would be very angry, hurt, upset and disappointed too. Hey, you would too if you find out that someone lied to you (well, maybe to a greater or lesser degree depending on circumstances). It took me a long while to understand this and since then I really try not to make a single lie. I really try.
What if I am too direct and honest to people and become brutally honest, eh? Hmm…when I say honest and direct…I just view that I want to be truthful and can be counted on to express feelings openly and sincerely and shall refrain from lying, cheating or stealing. Say if your friend comes up to you with an ugly (you think it’s ugly) outfit and asked your opinion. What would you do? Do you just give a superficial answer to him/her or just say things he/she wants to hear? To be honest, if I were your friend, I want to hear an honest answer. If you think it is ugly, say so because if I know it is an awesome outfit, do you think I need to ask for your input? Well, maybe some people like to ask and expect others will say what they want to listen. But hey, that’s really their choice, but as a friend of theirs or as an individual, I personally think honesty is always the best policy. Why say something so fake and untruthful? Of course I’m not encouraging you and I to be that brutally honest and tell our friend this, “Geez, that’s a really ugly outfit. Boy, I didn’t know you had such bad taste!” Now this remark is really unnecessary and I don’t think any individual should be that impolite and mean. I’ll just tell my friend, “Hmm… I don’t like this outfit…it seems a bit weird here…but if you really like it, then just put it on and be confident about it.”
What about white lies? This is a bit tricky…true, we may not want to be that directly honest because the truth can be really hurtful to the person. But you know, if we tell a white lie just to not want to make the situation awful/hurting the person, we are in fact hurting the person more later.
Sometimes I am concerned that my straightforwardness/directness and honesty will put myself in a vulnerable position. People may not like me that much just because I may have insulted or offended them through my direct words. I have been trying to be not so direct. Yet I feel uneasy about it. So here I am now of who I am, a direct and honest person...well I try. Some people may dislike me. I may make more enemies. But I know my intention is all good. I just don’t want to be dishonest to cover myself for selfish reason and thus hurt others. Heh, I am nothing if not honest. That matters more to me. And I prefer others to be direct and honest to me too.
♥ every page of my imagination
