Tuesday, March 14, 2006 @5:47 AM
“Have you eaten?” You must find it awkward if this is the first line you hear upon meeting/bumping into someone. What? Can’t they say something else? This line just sounds a little too peculiar.
Well, actually, this is a way of saying hello for the Chinese. They don’t really want to know whether you have really eaten. You see, food is immensely emphasized in the over three thousand years of Chinese culture. It has become the first and foremost concern whether you have enough food to eat. Food resembles the amount of wealth you own. The better food (not necessary healthier in this case), somehow speaks how well you live (meaning how wealthy you are). So naturally this culture has passed down from centuries to centuries and has become a casual habit way of saying "Hello".
If you go and ask your Chinese friends about this, most of them may not realize this. I presume your Chinese friends are around our age here. That’s right; it seems that the younger generation is not keeping this “Have you eaten?” trend. Things are changing including certain aspects and values of any culture. That could be one of the explanations. Another possible reason could be because we’re now living in the year 2006, technology has improved our lifestyle tremendously, many of us are well-fed and food is not seen as the only essential, especially in developed countries. I am, like many young Chinese out there, wasn’t aware of this “Have you eaten?” line until my dad brought it up once. No wonder I found it strange to hear my parents’ friends asked this “Have you eaten?” question to my folks or vice versa when I was young. Yet I wasn’t really paying attention to this. Many years gone by, I still didn’t get this correct. I just assumed someone was inviting my grandmother for some food when I heard someone asking my grandmother, “Have you eaten?”. Deep down my heart I was thinking, "Wow, this person's really nice to my grandmother. But she's just eaten, how hungry can she be?" Argh, how silly I am to just always think about food!! Now I finally know the true meaning of this line. A little too late huh? Speaking of this, I’m the type of Chinese who just says “Hello” (pronounced as “Ni Hao”) [你好] in mandarin or Cantonese. That’s the more conventional way for a lot of younger generation to say "Hello" to people now.
My exposure from residing several countries in different continents has further opened my eyes about some parts of other nations’ cultures. You’ll hear the line “How are you?” or “Good day!” if you’re at the check out counters wherever you go in certain nations by default. I wasn’t too used to it at the beginning. The cashiers sounded like some machine to me when they asked “How are you?”. Sometimes they said it too quickly and went immediately checking out all your items. I don’t think they bothered to wait for a second to see or hear your response.
If you go around and you’ll amazingly find that certain nations articulate on the way of saying “Hello”. Certain words are meant for the elderly or people of higher status than us. Some “Hellos” are more casual than the other. Some even has gender difference. For example, in Thai, if you’re saying “Hello” to a guy, you have to pronounce it as “Sa-wa Dee Krab” and to a girl, it should be pronounced as “Sa-wa Dee Kah”.
Which type do you prefer in saying “Hello”. “Hi”, “Howdie?”, “How are you?”, “What’s up?”, “How are you doing?” …I tend to just say “Hello” to people whoever I meet. I was once swamped in the trend of “How are you?” during my few years of stay in Country B where everyone just say this line by default. Sometimes it’s so natural for me to ask this and answer “I’m good, thanks.”, without giving much thought of my answer or others’. Did I mean what I ask? If not, why would I bother to ask? This thought just provoked me and since then, I’ve been really making an effort of putting more sincerity when asking “How are you?” to anyone. I am ready to give it a minute or at least a few seconds to patiently listen to others’ response. If I’m in hurry or I think it’s kind of awkward in talking to someone who is more of a stranger to me, I just say, “Hi”. Probably I’m a little weird in this. But I do realize if I can spend some time listening to others’ well being of the day or that moment, it really brings some meaning to me for that moment. This is the best time of showing our care to our friends or however this person’s related to us. I come to realize that we are always too oblivious of our own things. I’m not saying we don’t spend time caring for others. We do and many of us are doing that. That’s great; yet we are not aware that it really doesn’t take a lot of time and effort in caring for others. It just takes a few seconds or minutes of slowing down and putting some sincerity when asking how the person’s doing or feeling, will make a whole lot of difference. We may not be able to help, but at least being there to listen for a few minutes can be of vast help.
“¿Cómo estás?”
“Comment ça va ?”
“Come stai?”
“Como estás?”
“Wie geht's?”
“Wie geht's?”
“Apa khabar?”
“Conas tá tú?”
“Conas tá tú?”
“Ngò gàttò?”
“Anh có khoe không?” or “Chi có khoe không?”
Can you figure out what I was asking? What about the following?
“Konichiwa”
“Ola”
“Hei”
“Zdravo”
“Bok”
“Salut”
“Han-gul”
Whichever I use, I just want to ask you, “How are you?” and I really mean it. So please do let me know how you are doing. : )
