I chatted with my little sis recently. She was complaining of herself being stupid because she feels that she doesn't know so many things and she's made (and still making) numerous silly mistakes.
While listening, my memory was rewinding back to my early age. My little sister seems to be the younger version of me 9 years ago. I realized the small fragile plant that was living under the shelter has somehow budded all these years. It wasn't an easy experience for the small plant. The plant had to learn to stand against the strong wind, the heat and the storm. But if the plant was to live under the shelter forever, it would have never grown stronger, not to mention how it managed to reach the budding process and blossom eventually.
Perhaps what I’ve experienced all these years, especially since the day I left home was really nothing compared to others. I did, and still feel exactly what my little sister is feeling now. I am such a fool! If I do a calculation on all the mistakes I’ve ever made, the list could circulate the earth thousand times. Really; sad but true. But the truth is who has never made mistakes before? Don’t we all learn from all those silly mistakes or even big mistakes? As long as we learn from it/them, we’ll be fine. Even if we don’t get it in the beginning, we will still get it eventually. This is exactly what I told my sister.
Not only silly mistakes I’ve made, but there were quite many encounters or incidence that I was forced to deal with them by myself, which later on made the small plant grew stronger. I’m sure you know what I mean.
So my little sister was making an envious statement, “I wish I could be like you. You’ve learned so much and you know how to deal with things better than me.”
I laughed and responded, “I am still learning. Everyone is still learning. You never know what my next foolish mistake is after this.”
It is so true. When I first left home, I was learning how to live independently on my own. It was tough for some spoilt brat who had never done any housework before. She didn’t even know how to fry an egg or make her own bed. I wish that was a joke. Nope, it is the truth. Then I learned how to share and mix around with different people, some of whom later on become my friends, true friends. I learned how to find a new place and deal with all relocation matters. I could still remember my first time calling up the remover, my first time finding a house, my first time of seeking advice from the legal adviser for a possible housing issue, my first time of a major decision-making of dropping the Information System degree from my dual degree program and just concentrate on the other degree that I fancy…
All these stuff listed here may sound simple, but trust me; it’s a whole new learning experience for me coming out of a protected shell. Looking back, I’m really grateful for being thrown out of the house. Ok, no, my parents didn’t throw me out of the house. I was the one who wanted to go abroad and my parents were all up for it.
Many years have passed. I am a bit more experienced in terms of living independently and dealing with some matters. I found a way that I feel comfortable to deal with matters and people, a way that I know I would not be guilt-ridden later on.
“You’ll be fine. I’m always very proud of you. You’re even much better than me at this age.”
“We all are learning. You see me better than you because I’m much older than you and you’ll probably be going through what I had. And you’re come out much better than me.”
“You know I am still learning now…and I’m sure 10 years down the road, you and I will see us ‘improved’ too.”
I am still learning. I am learning how to deal with a different bunch of people I meet now out of school, especially in front of a bunch of academic smarties, smart-ass or even nerds. I am learning to be less selfish and give more to others. And now I am learning to open myself more to share and be more understanding..
