Sunday, May 14, 2006 @9:06 PM
It is difficult to describe the relationship between my mom and I. We were not that close, sometimes although physically we used to be very close. Thus sometimes I do think we are close, at least closer than my dad and I, sort of.
I used to treat my mom as my mom, when I was a kid. Yet, as I grow older, the relationship has somehow transformed to a kind of friendship. Yes, you didn’t read it wrong; I felt that my mom was like my friend, well not close friend type, but rather a “symbiotic” way of friendship, instead of a mother taking care of her daughter. Then these few years, the friendship has again evolved to become like a sisterhood; with her being the younger sister.
It is really strange that I felt it this way. I guess if I seek hard enough, I could have gotten the clue for this. I wasn’t staying with my parents since I was born up till few years old. My maternal grandmom was the one who brought my siblings and I up. When I was about five, my sisters and I reunited with my parents when my parents moved out of my paternal grandparents’. Soon enough, I entered primary school. My maternal aunts took over the responsibility of my mom in keeping close eyes on my academic performance because there were several of us (kids) in the family already. My mom couldn’t handle us since she has her own career to take care of too. Therefore I couldn’t actually recall a single scene where my mom guided me study throughout my entire schooling life back then. My aunts and grandmom were the ones who educated us while we were at puberty. Whenever we had problems, we often shared them with our aunts. Mom was there, but not really.
After I left home, I learned to be more independent. I no longer was hoping the adults from the family to handle my problems. I learned to find my own ways. I did. That’s when I began to feel that mom was more like my friend because I realized sometimes she even asked opinion to me whereas at the same time, I still keep her informed about everything I was going through albeit I wasn’t seeking help from her. After I started working, mom was becoming more of my younger sister as she frequently shared with me her concerns and worries. She wanted a pair of ears and sometimes some opinions.
I was on transit while I was heading to my latest conference recently. I took out my cell phone and started texting her. We kept texting back and forth for about 10 messages. She kept telling me to take care of myself, like a typical mother.
“Remember to bring the important travel documents with you.”
“When you get there, text me so that I know you’re safe.”
“Give us a call when you’re back to Country D.”
I was laughing. I replied, “Mom, I’m well-traveled than you. This is not my first time traveling alone. Don’t worry. I’ll email sis when I get a chance.”
It was certainly very strange to be like a timid little girl of my mom now. Isn’t it weird that after all these years of being independent and even treating my mom like my younger sis, all of a sudden my mom was attempting to reverse the role? As much as I feel it weird of this change, I decided to let my mom does what she thinks is more comfortable. Hey, I really don’t mind being a little girl being nagged and pampered although I could live without being one.
Today is Mothers’ Day. I didn’t get my mom any present. We don’t usually get her present for this occasion. But all these years, if I am away, I would always call her up and send my greetings to her. This year is no exception. She was happy to talk to me. We talked for a long while. Again, she was repeating stuff like, “You must take care of yourself.” “Just go ahead and do whatever you like; we’ll always support you."
Perhaps I wished my mom was like a typical loving and caring mom who was very motherly to me when I was younger. Perhaps I wished my mom could change her stubbornness over certain things I do not agree with. Nevertheless, I could not wish for a better mom. She made me a stronger and independent person. I could not imagine myself as a timid coward protected girl living in a shelter. Thanks mom for giving this precious human body and a blessed life to me! I usually will also call up my aunts and grandmom and thank them for being a mother to me all these years.
Being a mother is never easy. You couldn’t even imagine the pain of child-bearing until you experience it, let alone the tough role as a mom. We all should be grateful to our mother!
