Whenever I am going through some dilemma, whenever I have something lingering in the back of my head, whenever I have problems that I need to deal with, whenever I need to make some decisions, whenever I am lost…I talk to certain people who I trust for some wise, sensible, logical opinions/advice.
Thus far, I have pretty good and patient listeners and councilors. But no matter how great their advice is to me, I realize in the end I am still the only one who has to face and deal with whatever that is bothering me. Even with the best solution given, if I did not want to make the next step, I would still remain trapped in the situation.
“Are you looking for Street A?”
I nodded.
“Oh, that’s just close by. Walk straight and you’ll find Street A on your right.”
But if I am hesitated to march forward, I will never reach Street A, even if it is just yards away. Same thing happens I heard some really great advice, if I am reluctant to take the advice into action, nothing could be resolved.
Of course not all advice or opinion given guarantees the cure to our situation. Advice could be inappropriate as it came from another individual who’s not in our shoes. Opinion can be somehow subjective due to personal preference and personality. Every situation regardless how similar it seems to be compared to previous examples and cases, is still unique. Hence, no one solution-for-all. I have a good example for this. We have an experienced cytogeneticist working with us for several months. She told me she’s having problem in getting her project moving. I have worked on the same technique before. So I talked to her and tried to find out the root of the technical fault. She explained to me that another postdoc told her his method, thus she followed his way. But it turned out that his method is completely different than hers. She’s worked on the same technique for many years and she has never had problem until this time.
“Maybe you should stick to your own method since you know it has worked before.”
“It’s your project and you know it best. Just do what you feel most comfortable with.”
That’s right. It is our problem; we have to decide how we are going to deal with it. We have to make our next move for the next decision. Advice and opinions serve as a guidance and support. Having a friend telling me, “You’ll be fine.” “You’ll get there.” and stuff won’t help in actuality unless I take the encouragement and support and transform them into action.
If you don’t think the opinions you’ve gotten are good enough for you. Then you just have to go for the one you think is best for yourself (make your own decision). No one is responsible for us other than ourselves. We just have to be confident in marching forward in our own comfortable way/pace, while others cheering and supporting along side. We'll not reach the destination if we lack confidence or refuse to move regardless how confident the rest are for us.
