My sister who is 2 years younger than me has been suffering mid-child syndrome. Being the second kid in the family, the attention seems to focus on the eldest child. Well, not quite. But that was what she perceived.
One thing for sure though, my parents and the elder ones in my family placed all responsibility to the eldest child. As far as I could remember, I was taught to take care of the younger ones. At home, I being the eldest had to answer the phone and had to help to make sure everything was in order, considering the fact that I was only a few years old. When I started school and my second sister joined me later on, I was instructed that I had to take care of her. Yep, they expected a 6 year-old to take care a 4 year-old at the kindergarten.
One would expect my sister would have gone through the same "training" from my parents after the birth of my 3 rd sister. Well, that was not really the case; my family somehow just bypassed her and promoted me with more responsibility. Naturally my second sister gradually perceives that she's not capable of taking up responsibility in the family and subsequently even started thinking she must be "not good" until she did not get the attention that every kid is getting. Her perception remains even till today. I could remember when I was at Grade 1; my mom and aunt forced me to participate some story-telling competition (refer previous post). Two years later when my sister was in Grade 1, she just mentioned that she's nervous and did not want to participate. My mom and aunt just let her go easily. Strangely enough, it turned out that my second sister is the only in the family who hasn't been on stage for any story-telling competition. Sure, they were just story-telling competitions, big deal not? But all these little things accumulated and formed a picture in my sister's mind. She perceived that no one cares for her. Everyone thinks she's incapable because of the little expectation from her and hence the mid-child syndrome.
Is that true that no one in my family cares and pay attention to my second sister? As a third party, I know my parents, my grandmother and my aunts do care a lot about her, and it's even more than some of us in the family. She's actually my grandmother's favorite. My aunts treat her like their little daughter. But she never felt it that way. Who is to blame for this? My sister? My parents?
If only my parents were aware of it and tried a different way to show their care and love to my sister. If only my sister tried to perceive the matter from a different angle. She sure would not have felt she’s been loved less, cared less or paid attention less.
