I have been wearing my hair long for almost ten years now. I used to have really short hair, kind of a boyish hairstyle before I left home.I was trying to grow it long when I was a bit younger, when I was taking ballet lessons. I had to for the examinations. But each time after the exam, I had it short immediately. I felt so good. I did not like long hair. I felt a relief once I stopped taking ballet lessons. Part of the reason was I no longer was obliged to grow it long.
Then all of a sudden, I decided to grow my hair long after my first year abroad. It was really frustrating in the beginning for the growing process. My hair isn’t all that easy to handle and maintain, making the process even more tedious. Many a times, I just wanted to give up and have it short.
“Your hair is really long now!” EF noted to me one day while I was standing besides her taking the key of the locker in the room.
“Yeah, it was longer but I had it trimmed few months ago. I wanted it to be shorter but the hairdresser refused to do so for some reason.”
“It’s reached your waist now.”
“I think so. I don’t usually pay attention to its length. Well, if I keep it growing, who knows one day I’ll be able to compete with Rapunzel!”
Recently I have been feeling rushed; rushing to get my degree sooner than it was scheduled. No one was rushing me except myself. I feel impatient. I feel like wanting to just grab the degree now. I begin to feel that the 4-year process is a little too long now. It’s just like never ending; not that 4 years is long. Time does pass in a glimpse. But I’m at a stage where I’m seeing myself not progressing as expected whereas time is passing quickly. I’m getting more and more impatient. I started asking myself, “Can I really make it?!!” Yes, this feeling is just exactly the same as I felt when growing my hair long.
During the party I attended last week, I was talking to a postdoc. from the next lab who is working together with the host of the dissertation party, GZ. She said, “GZ felt like how you are feeling 2 years ago when she was half-way. She had no publication at all and she was really worried. But very soon, her 3 papers were accepted one after another.”
