There was an addition of doctoral holder in the world 2 hours ago. The 3-hour dissertation of the then Dr.-to-be, BY, went pretty well. And finally after all these years, she was announced by her chief thesis committee the title as a Dr.
This is not my first time listening to a dissertation. But it is definitely my first time seeing the PhD candidate defending his/her thesis without the presence of his/her family. Salute to Dr. BY because she was handling everything all by herself (the stressful three-month thesis writing torment, going through the hassles of dissertation application, arranging the nitty-gritty in preparation for the dissertation including organizing her own dissertation party). For some reason, her husband and her family could not fly all the way to be here with her. But with their support from far, she finally made it.
Doing a PhD is really no big deal. There are other things better achievements than this. Yet, it is still a very small personal achievement. It is just like one’s had preschool graduation, grammar/primary school graduation, HS graduation, college graduation or even certain award presentation of some sort of personal interest/career (i.e. Oscar award, Golden Globe award) or whatever. All these little personal achievements may not mean much to the society, the nation or to the world. But it does mean something to the individual. You were putting great effort in pursuing something and finally you came to that destination. You’ve made it now. You’ve demonstrated your determination and your enthusiasm. And in this happy moment, all you really wish is to share your happiness (albeit temporal) with your loved ones.
Looking at my very little personal achievements thus far, was my family especially my parents there all the time with me?
My memory about my kindergarten graduation is really vague. Were my parents there?
But I can still remember clearly my graduation day for my primary school education. None of my folks attended the ceremony even though I was representing the graduates to give a speech!
However they were there for my HS graduation because the graduates were forced to purchase a pair of tickets (the school was hoping the parents to come). Hence my parents did attend my HS graduation dinner; especially I was partly demanding them to come to support me as the MC of the night.
I celebrated my graduation dinner of my final year HS (pre-college) in Country B with my schoolmates since my family was thousands miles away.
My first college degree commencement - my mom and my two sisters flew in to attend the ceremony.
My second college degree commencement – both my parents and my little brother attended.
My first piano exam – mom was there.
My first ballet exam – my grandmother accompanied me to the school and she went home leaving me there alone waiting for my turn.
My first swimming competition – mom and sister were there.
My first inter-school speech competition – mom and aunt were there but dad was finally there in the following year when I was promoted to the semi-final round (state level competition). Yay!
Looking at my own history, I find that my parents did try to make their presence in certain occasions/events of their children. But they were not consistent to all children especially my dad. He is always giving an excuse of being busy and relies on my mom to make her presence. I know I was always wishing more participation from my dad. I was really glad that he did keep his promise to attend my second college degree commencement after being disappointed with his absence of my first commencement. I had to literally keep reminding him months prior conferring my degree. I was so happy when I heard that his air ticket was fixed, meaning he was definitely attending my graduation.
I’m not sure who will be attending my dissertation and/or my degree commencement. However I really wish my family and my loved ones will take their time and come to support me. Yes, I may not be doing a wonderful task or completing a respectful mission, it is still something that I will like to share with them. Don’t you want them to be there for all your chapters (big or small) of your life?
Of course if it happens that our family can’t be there with us to witness these chapters of our lives, that don’t mean they don’t care. Their support and well-wishes are always with us. And I’m sure they can still share our joy and happiness without being there.
Although BY’s husband and family will not be at the dissertation party tonight, her husband will most likely come for her commencement later. BY will have a blast tonight at her party despite the absence of her family. Well, at least I am looking forward to it – an evening of sharing her joy in completing her degree successfully. Congratulations! :P
♥ every page of my imagination
