Miss Charming: I don't feel that my boyfriend cares for me too much. You see, there were occasions I felt cold and I just casually made a remark that it was cold; guys whom I was not even close with would be so caring and offered me their jackets. But there were few times I complained about the coldness to my boyfriend, he did not show any response instead he zipped up his jacket more.
Lady Elegant: That's no big deal. You know what? I had to give my jacket to my husband when we were traveling in New Zealand for our honeymoon.
Miss Charming: I expect my boyfriend to be very caring. Is that too much?
Lady Elegant: Perhaps he actually cares a lot for you, in different ways. All right, do you think you prefer those other guys who offered you their jackets instead of him since you think they are so caring?
Miss Charming: Definitely not. I don't like those guys at all; we don't have any chemistry and we don't click at all.
Lady Elegant: Exactly. You won't go for those guys just because they seem to be caring for you. Plus you have to understand that no one is perfect. You're not perfect too.
Miss Charming: Yea, you're so right. He does care for me, in his own way. And he's already the perfect one for me. I shouldn't ask for more.
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People have been coming up to tell me how lucky I was to have Prof. L as my supervisor. "This is the perfect lab to do a degree." What is there so perfect in this lab that many people queueing for such a long time to get in? True, my supervisor is a very knowledgable and talented professor. But at the same time, she's very busy with other commitments as the head of the lab. Therefore she expects a certain degree of independence of her students. For a person who loves independence, her style suits me pretty well. However there are times I wish to get more supervision from her. Do I still consider this as my ideal lab?
My sister has recently transfered to a new department. She told me she wasn't enjoying her job that much. "Didn't you transfer to this new department because you weren't happy at the old one?" "Yea, it turned out that I have to work more time and deal with more picky clients now." From her conversation, I could tell that she is looking for her ideal job. A less stressful job. A job that allows her travelling around. A job with a pretty decent pay. A job with less working hours ex cetera. But is it possible to find such a job? You may find a relatively less stressful job, but in that case probably you won't get paid higher. You may find a job that gives you opportunity to travel around, but then that means your job would need long working hours.
It is absolutely all right to go for what we want. The person we truly love. Our ambitions. Our dreams. Our plans. But while approaching what we want, we have to understand that we must not be harsh to others as well as to ourselves. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. There is no such thing as ideally perfect or perfectly ideal. Sometimes the more we look for, the more imperfections we find from the close to perfect ones. Miss Charming knows that she and her sweetheart are a perfect match. Yet at the same time she expects a lot from him. If she continues to magnify his one or two flaws, she'll start to get upset about him and hence doing damage to their bonded relationship. And he'll be converted from Mr. Ideal to Mr. Horrible. As for my supervisor, seriously she's one of the best ones I have ever come across all these years. It is her unique style, which is pretty much hands-off to most of her students makes her being a successful supervisor. Just imagine if she's just spoon-feeding her students, they probably would not grow and acquire the thinking on their own.
Is there such a thing called ideal? Definitely possible, depending on how we view as an ideal, that is accepting an ideal and not expecting it to be flawless (perfect). Plus, a "flaw" may actually turn out to be something "good" too. It really depends on how we see it.
♥ every page of my imagination
