You and I have at least a role to play; be it a father, a daughter, a mother, a son, a husband, a wife, a friend, a boss, a subordinate, a teacher, a student, a leader, a team member ex cetera. But how many of us are really playing our role(s) well? Are we doing what we are supposed or expected to do? Or are we doing too much?One of the funny things about my parents is, they like me to take up the role of disciplining my younger siblings, especially my little brother. Whenever I call home to talk to my mother, she would tell me to talk to my brother and warn him to do his schoolwork and stuff. I find this too ridiculuous because my brother would never listen to me. who is thousands miles away if he is not even listening to my parents' pesters since they stay under one roof. Not to mention this is a parents' task in making sure you discipline your kids. It is just like do you expect someone else feed your own kids? It doesn't make sense right? You are their parents and they are your kids, of course you have to do your job. My dad sometimes can be overly too concerned about his children. When I chat with him, he would discuss his concerns about my siblings, whether are they studying a "good" course, getting a good job or having a good prospect, yada yada...Yes, I know this is how parents behave, especially Asian parents. But my dad has to realize his children are no longer a few year-old who stays under their parents' wings. We have to learn how to make our own decisions and even if the decisions turn out not to be the best, we have to learn how to be responsible for what we are doing.
I am constantly bugged by one of my seniors from work. All right, to be precise, an ex-student of the lab who is now doing a postdoc in a different continent. When I first joined the lab, he had helped me in initiating a few projects. Of course being a newbie in this field, I was indeed grateful to his help. Half a year later, he left for his new job elsewhere. He was so concerned about my progress that he would call every now and then (there was a period of time when he actually called every second day and also please keep in mind those were international calls with a 9-hour difference between the timezone) to check on me. He was doing it too much until I was confused who was my real supervisor now. After two years, he still calls me occasionally, although less frequent now.Perhaps this senior is doing it of good intention. He is interested in my work? He is truly concerned about my progress? Regardless of whatever reason, he has to be aware that he might be taking over my supervisors' role and thus complicating some housekeeping issues. On contrary, basically I do not have that much contact with my three supervisors. And I am definitely that type of student who loves a bit more independance and freedom. I will go to them when I need some input. But there are times when I am desperate for scientific discussion, none of my three supervisors are available.
I have a really good guy friend (Mr. Nice), who is more like my older brother. I like to seek his views when I need some perpectives for certain issues sometimes. But there is only so much a friend can do. And we must not ask for too much. Just imagine if I go to Mr. Nice not only for advice but keep bothering him for every of my big and little matters, what will his wife (Mrs. Nice) and my Travel Companion think about it? I would feel uncomfortable too if my Travel Companion does not share with me his problems and thoughts but with someone else.
We have to know what our role is and know our "job" description well. You don't want to not do enough because that means you are not doing your job good enough. Yet you don't want to overdo it because that may bring inconvenience to others.
♥ every page of my imagination
