I knew this was going to come. I thought I should be ready but I know I'm not even close at this point. Will I being able to make it?In exactly one month's time, I will be standing in front of a lecture hall presenting a summary of my thesis so far (which will be 50 percent of the "book") and then being questioned by my thesis committee. I knew I needed to go through this assessment when my supervisor first suggested to me to do it during Spring. "I am not ready yet." was my answer to her. Then few months back, I thought I should be ready soon and hence set a date for it. But at this point, I know I am still not ready. Will I ever be truly ready for it?
I have been having long hours meeting with my supervisors, like till 11pm going through the close-to-finish projects and winding up some ongoing ones and also to plan roughly my schedule for the remaining of my degree. I do not know exactly where I am at this point. But all I want to do is just to focus on the closer goals, such as to pass this assessment next month. But prior the assessment, I have to finish up a long list instructed by my supervisors. And I already feel that I am overloaded and it doesn't seem quite possible to get them all completed within this month. I am trying very hard not to be stressed out, but my stress is already manifesting itself in several forms. I am already feeling it during the past few weeks. And worse still I've become more stressed out from the already existing stress.
I come to realize it is really no point being grumpy and worry about anything at all. It is just an assessment. Yes, no doubt it is a very important assessment. And yes, no doubt I have heaps to do. I just have to focus on them one by one and try to get as much done as possibe. Even if I can't finish them all, I should just be more relax and take it as it is. I did not sit here doing nothing for the first half of my degree, I do know my stuff, to a certain extent. Still, I shall do all right for the assessment. I hope.
Don't worry, just do it! Go, go, go! :)
♥ every page of my imagination
