I coud still remember when I was ten, forty of us were representing our Grammar School for an audition to perform for the National Day's celebration. One of the programmes specially dedicated to the National Day broadcast shows was selecting students to act a docudrama about our Parliament House. Since our school was the last one in the queue for the audition, only one cast left unfortunately. And I was fortunate enough to be selected for that cast, a female members of the parliament by the director.My school was putting high expectation for this performance, especially I was the one representing our school nationwide. My aunt, who happened to be teaching in that school, was specially appointed as the teacher in-charge for bringing me to the drama practice and rehearsal. I attended only one practice. After that, the next thing I realized was, I heard my class teacher, who did not like me, making really "sarcastic" remark about me. "Some people are really irresponsible and selfish, who only cares about themselves." Huh? Why was she saying such thing? Was she referring me? I could not care less. But the next day, I was called into the Principal's office. She said something with her dissapointing look. Unlike my class teacher, she did not make any weird remark. But again, I did not understand what she was trying to get the message across. She only said, "I'm disappointed that you made that decision."
I left her office and asked my aunt what was exactly happening. Only at that point, I found out that she told the director that I (our school) had decided to pass that cast I was offered. I was not happy about what my aunt did. "It's wasting time spending the whole day to come here for the practice. You will be losing a lot of precious time for coping with your school work. Don't forget you have to do this for several months before the actual filming. You'll be having your final exams around that time too. I think it's better off for you to quit now." I disagreed and was not happy to hear her suggestion. But she went ahead to discuss with my mom and they both made that decision for me and got everything arranged without my consent.
"Do you know I really wanted to act for that drama? I was watching the drama while it was broadcasted on the TV during National Day that year thinking that I once had a chance to be acting there."
"You should have discussed it with me and let me have my say for my own things!"
Few years back when I was home for vacation, I told my aunt about this. She still insisted that she did that for my own good. "That's the best decision for you." Yes, I agree that she did with good intention, which is not wanting me to have difficulty in catching up with schoolwork later on. But to me, at that moment, it was something I had interest in doing. True, I might be too naive that what I wanted was not the best; I still think she could have done in a way that made me realize the consequence(s) and hence making my own decision.
Now sitting here, I'm trying to imagine how would I feel and think if I were my aunt or my mom. What about reversing the role now? Would I be doing the same thing like what my aunt did to my niece? Seriously I am not sure. See, if you already knew what was the best for your loved ones, obviously you would want them to listen right? What if what you think as the best is actually not the best at the other person's point of view, but don't you still want the "best" for them?
Since this little incident of mine, I have told myself that I should try my best not to make any major decision nor dictating someone when making their own decision. To me, if there is any decision to make, the person has to happily make his/her decision. Yes, I do make some input and suggestion to the decision maker. But I do not want him/her just to do it because I told them so. Why? Well, I do not want someone not happy and started regretting and wondering those "what ifs" many years later. What is the point if I tell you to go for A thinking that's the best for you if you were thinking about B but later on your mind is still with B after picking A because I told you so? And most likely you'd not be able to see any good side of A because it was not your first choice initially. Most importantly, I definitely do not fancy being given the "blame" title by someone, especially my loved ones.
♥ every page of my imagination
