As promise, I’m back with the sequel of the “I am NO Superwoman” entry.
So what is there to do with Cinderella this time?
I was mentioning about not wanting to live a regretful life looking back wondering on those “what ifs”. You know it is always tough to think about things lingering on our mind and then in the end we didn’t go for it and thus one day looking back feeling regret in thinking why didn’t we give it a try. I hate it this way. I don’t like to see myself blaming myself on things that I didn’t reach out just because I was not courageous enough.
How would you know you can’t achieve (the things lingering in your mind) if you haven’t tried? Cinderella was the girl who danced with the Prince. But she left him hurriedly before 12 midnight. The Prince was searching around for her. If she didn’t go out to try on the shoe, the Prince would never be able to find her. It is true that if we go and try out things that have been lingering in our minds, we are taking a risk …
On the contrary, sometimes we would also feel remorseful thinking on things that we’ve done and wishing “what if I had never done it?”. Um…isn’t it tough again?
My dad was telling me about a program he was watching. This particular episode was interviewing 2 individuals who share an apparent similarity. They have a dream and they have been trying to make their dream comes true. The girl wanted to become a news broadcaster; she has tried many years and still she wasn’t recruited to the media company. Yet she’s still not given up but she didn’t realize time is passing and she might be living on a bubble all this while. Perhaps she should be realistic enough to start exploring other things rather than sticking to what she’s been thinking after trying many times. As for another guy, he wanted to become some composer but after years of trying, he diverged his interest in setting up a business of his own. He now owns four branches of his restaurant. But he’s not given up his dream of becoming a composer totally.
Is the girl very unrealistic? Should she put all her eggs in one basket? Should she still keep waiting for her opportunity to arise? Don’t you think the guy, on the other hand is somewhat more practical? He didn’t waste his time instead he was putting some eggs elsewhere although he still preferred his original basket.
What meikoy commented earlier about the risk of failing, “It is hard to live a life without regret, it means you have to take chances, and that you might fail.”. But if our instinct is so strong and most importantly we know we won’t be hurting others deliberately and killing ourselves, and then I myself would really prefer to give it a go. Maybe I am Cinderella who owns the shoes? And if it’s not meant to be, no matter how hard I try, I still can’t fit into the shoe. It’s just like no matter how hard Cinderella’s stepsisters tried to squeeze into the small size shoe; they just couldn’t because they were not the girl who danced with the Prince the other night.
However, I am not saying that we should just give everything a try. That’s a little too much if we simply try things out if we don’t even have a heart for, because that just basically means we are not even sure of what we truly want. If we listen to our own compass (refer earlier post, Where is the compass?)hard enough, the remorseful moments of wishing things that have been done to be undone can also possibly be avoided, well at least be minimized.
Eh, you and I may not be Superwoman, but we may be Cinderella. We never know until we try it out. Even if we end up not fitting that shoe, then that may not be a bad idea after all. That just means we can confirm that we are not Cinderella, but some Sleeping Beauty, Peter Pan or Aladdin.
All right, today is the first day of the lunar New Year. May everyone will have an auspicious start in the new year of dog. Happy Lunar New Year to those who are celebrating this festive season! Gong Hei Gong Hei 恭贺新春!!
♥ every page of my imagination
4 people traveled to my fantasyland
I have been thinking of posting this up...I left the draft in the folder 2 months ago and didn’t continue in completing it. Not that I’ve lost interest in it, I just have too much to talk. But with my vacation approaching to an end, there is no other impeccable timing than this moment in summing this up to help me navigate a bit.
Let’s rewind back to the scene of one late evening few months ago at work…
NK: So…what do you want to do after your degree?
Me: Um…I’m going to find a rich guy and get married.
NK: Are you serious?!
Me: Yeah, why not? *evil laugh*
I have admiration and high respect for many professions out there. I’m not familiar with too many diverse professions; however I still find the career life as a researcher in science is one of the toughest. I’ve heard countless grumbles about the low pay; the salary is especially low if you work out the number of hours you put in. It is also one of the highest risk professions; you can lose your job anytime once your grant is not extended/renewed! It is a very stressful job that places you competing with many fishes in the pond of water. Believe it or not, medical science research is not only about science, it is also about linguistic, arts and computing skills. You need to have excellent writing skills for your scientific publications and grant applications. You need to somehow have some artistic talent to be imaginative and creative enough. You spend most of your time working with computers with many advanced exclusive softwares and hardwares that may even make you a computer expert! Oh…you need to have good stamina like a marathon runner too! Unless you have some really gentlemen colleagues around willing to spare you some help, if not, you will find yourself a superman /superwoman climbing up and down, walking here and there fetching/carrying samples, equipments, reagents and stuff like that. Needless to say, we work overtime most of the time or in odd hours based on the experiments progress. (This is how that conversation was actually taken place.)
I am not a skillful person when it comes to doing experiments. I am really clumsy and most of the time I can screw the entire experiment with just a stupid mistake in a simple procedure. I have no talent in writing whatsoever. Neither am I artistic nor creative. I only know how to operate a computer for leisure purposes. And let me tell you a secret; I barely got through my HS’s physical fitness examination every semester all those years. Now this is getting serious! What am I doing now? Why am I spending the few years of my prime time on something that I know I have not a bent for?
I wasn’t gliding effortlessly to where I am now. My former supervisor of my final year undergrad project and my former course coordinator told me straight to my face that I would still be able to stay in research as a RA but nothing further. And they were right because I wasn’t accepted to a full studentship in Grad school after my degree. So I left school and proceeded in taking up a RA job. But my heart has never left; I always wondered how life would be as a postgraduate student. How challenging it would be to be able to run a 4-5 years project of my own. How courageous and patience I would be in demonstrating and teaching undergraduate students? I was happy to earn money each month but those “what ifs” had always stuck in my mind. Maybe I just need a new job or I truly want to go back to school… That got me starting to apply for Grad schools and new jobs again. After leaving the mind in ferment for a long while, I was fortunate enough to end up where I am now.
Time is passing quickly, I’m now moving towards the second half of my degree and I know it’s also about time to think about my next step. I don’t know whether I will really end up getting a position in this profession. Probably I would be so fed-up of all the hurdles I am encountering now; I will just start a new profession. Or I could just have a career change years later. Nevertheless, I am really happy about where I am now. This is because I know I won’t be looking back one day thinking I didn’t give myself another chance in trying out Grad School.
I love and enjoy what I am doing now though I know I’m really behind in many realistic matters compared to my pals around my age. I have to go through many down moments and frustrations when things are not working well for me. Yet I know I am acquiring something new each day, within the scope of my research training and also about life. I truly hope to practice and share what I’ve learned some day and ultimately benefiting mankind. However, even if I end up something else later, I know the time and effort spent won’t go down the drain. It is really the experiences gathered that will bring us to the next phase of whatever we will be pursuing. And you know there are some skills that you can just acquire through a few more practices with zero aptitude.
Mr. Nice once said, “We don’t have too much choice for many matters in our life. But one thing we can have some say and control is on things we want to do in life.”
My best friend, Miss D sent me a supportive message on a postcard and I’ve put it on my writing desk at work. It goes like this, “Follow your dreams. Don’t settle for less.”
I have been telling AA that I don’t like to live regretting one day because I didn’t give myself a go on things that have been lingering on my mind. Of course I wasn’t referring to things that I know will kill myself or are hurtful to others!! *lol*
Now back to my convo with NK…yeah I’ve been working at odd hours. Maybe I’ll hit a point thinking I’ve had enough of research and pack my stuff to marry a rich handsome guy! That’s nothing wrong with that. *muahaha*…All right, I was just kidding. All I can say is I am happy to exposing and experiencing all the things I'm doing in life right now. Whatever is my next step, I will still happily march forward, or to the least walking slowly because I know I’ve given myself a chance to try.
You really don’t need to be a superwoman to follow your dreams!
PS:Coming up next will be about Cinderella. I'll be back... :)
♥ every page of my imagination
3 people traveled to my fantasyland
More than 30 years ago, a loving couple got married. The wife was helping the husband in his business while at the same time taking care of the household.
Just when things were going well and fortune was buidling up from the couple’s business, the wife was diagnosed with late stage breast cancer.
The husband dropped everything to accompany the wife everywhere to seek professional medical advice. He was there all the time while she’s undergoing radiotherapy and chemotherapy.
He sobbed and cried to see her losing hairs and shedding off weight.
She left him and the children at the age of forty.
My sister and I attended a wedding dinner before the weekend on behalf of our grandparents. The man sitting next to me started chatting with me. He asked about my profession. And I told him I was doing my research degree in oncology. He raised his eyes brows and seemed to be captivated by my research field.
Man: What is the most common cancer for females?
Me: It’s breast cancer.
Man: My wife had breast cancer 20 years ago.
Me: I’m sorry to hear about this….is she doing ok now?
Man: She passed away.
Me: Oh…I’m sorry…
Man: I was with her throughout the whole medical treatment but she was suffering late stages of the disease. I felt so heartache seeing her going through all the terrible therapies. What other better therapies you guys have now?
Me: Surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy are those common ones. But technology is advancing all the time. Hopefully we’ll come out with better diagnosis and therapeutic treatments real soon.
Man: After seeing my wife going through such a pain, I began to be extremely cautious with my living habit and living style. No smoking for me and I even stopped drinking because at one stage my physician told me that my liver was not doing too well. I had liver cirrhosis because I consumed too much alcohol. Since then, I just ceased all bad living habits and go for regular medical check ups. I go for regular medical checkups, exercise regularly and maintain a healthy and positive living attitude.
Man: My wife wasn’t that happy before she had the disease. All the time, we were just worrying and stressed about our lives and our business. What’s the point to worry too much? Life is too short and you never know what’s going to happen next. It is better to be happy when you’re still healthy.
I was sitting there most of the time listening to him. He’s a talkative person and an optimist too. He kept helping to serve food to my sister and me whenever there’s a new dish served on the table. Yeah, it was a Chinese banquet so we had to help ourselves. :)
I don’t know why…after listening to this man, I was deeply moved. I began to think about my parents, my grandma, my aunts, my siblings, my friends and even any strangers on the street. I fear seeing any of them suffer with any deadly disease. I know sometimes we have conflicts and arguments with our family and loved ones, and then we feel all upset and helpless about the situations with them. I am not going to deny the fact that there are certain things I can’t compromise and I don’t agree with the elderly in my family especially my parents on certain things. But what Miss D said earlier on from her personal experience is certainly right; “You should be glad that at least they are healthy enough to have the conflict with you. You won’t know how much pain it is when one day they can’t voice out their different opinion to you but all they can do is to lie on the bed barely inhaling and you won’t even sure was that going to be the last inhalation!”
After hearing this man’s story, it further inspired me that we really shouldn’t worry too much in general. Don’t take anything for granted, instead cherish and value those that we own now. Even when we’re lying on the bed making the last inhale, we can smile calmly and peacefully to see our loved ones with no regrets.
With this typed, I truly hope someday all my counterparts will come up with better advanced technology in curing all deadly diseases. Meanwhile, let us all just live every moment happily. I know this is very tough especially we are so much bothered with different kind of problems. But at least we shall try to take things positively, well at least not bury ourselves with negative emotions because this won’t help to ease the situation. Deal with it if we can, if not just let it be for the moment. Life still goes on regardless.
♥ every page of my imagination
2 people traveled to my fantasyland
She said she knew me when I was in Grade One.
She said she’d heard about me when we were 7.
She said I was snotty and cold.
She said she’d heard a lot about me, mostly on some not-so-positive things.
I didn’t believe her. How could that be possible?
I told her our first acquaintance was in Grade Three and not Grade One. I was leading the school’s disciplinary team. There were twenty odd more students working in the team and I hardly knew any of them other than the few from my own class. She’s one of those twenty plus students who was a complete stranger to me.
We hardly talked to each other initially. Maybe she’s right; I was just too unsociable…
As time went by, I started opening up myself gradually and we said hello to each other some times.
A year later, the system of academic performance segregation brought us to the same class.
We became a bit closer though we hung out with our bunch of friends respectively.
Something happened. The teacher placed us competing on the same racing track, yet we ended up holding our hands running forward together.
We only shared the same class for 4 years throughout the 11 years of schooling.
After that, we headed to different path separately; I left home and she continued her studies at home.
She always sends birthday greetings to me each year no matter where I am. On the other hand, since absent-minded is always my trademark; I always end up sending a belated birthday greeting to her. Believe it or not, all this while I even remembered her birthday date wrongly until few years ago I accidentally found out myself. I blushed to make an apology and she just smiled and assured it was just a day’s different and thus no big deal.
Whenever I need a pair of ears, she’s always there patiently listening and offers me helpful advice over a distance. Unfortunately I am too engrossed with my own problems most of the time and seldom reciprocate. There were times I did realize that she also needed a pair of ears yet I wasn’t able to be a patient listener. She in return consoled me that she’s doing fine and I need not worried about that.
We talked about our dreams and ambitions when we were younger. We used to share the same career aspiration. However, our paths diverged 10 years ago. I am now the one left in the battle. Yet, I know I am not alone. She keeps on sending me boosters of words of motivation while I march the path all by myself.
She mentioned about me to her significant other. And better still happily made him helped me although I was too embarrassed to seek help most of the time. She kept telling me, “Just yell anytime you need any help. We’ll be there.”
Funny it is to mention that during my first few years away from home, there were numerous times I was so bummed and bothered by different problems and matters. Although she’s thousands miles away, she could just sense it telepathically. You won’t believe that she was there ready to pick up my calls telling me, “I am actually expecting your call because I had a feeling that you’d call today.” when I desperately needed to talk to someone. Or she would just send me emails to make me feel I wasn’t alone.
All these years, we only manage to meet up once a year, briefly. There were times we just couldn’t make it. It was either she’s too busy or my visit to home was just too short. Nevertheless, our bond always remains despite the distance and the low frequency of hanging out together. We never doubt about this fact. Oh, I lied; I actually did once….at one stage, we were too caught up at work to the extent that either of us initiated an email but the other failed to reply. I was beginning to have this fear. Are we not that close anymore? Why am I losing faith to the 18 years of friendship? Is the bond still there?
I’m really glad that I was just thinking too much. The friendship is still there. I took it for granted all this while. Thank goodness she was understanding and didn’t let my imbecile behavior ruin our precious friendship!
I’d like to thank her for taking the arrogant snob as her friend around 20 years ago in spite of all those negative rumours she’d heard. And better still accompanied me walking through the transformation and recognized me as her best friend.
I can’t help to thank her for being supportive when I’m on my roller coaster rides and also to always be there to share all my happiness.
Best friend is someone who’s close like our sibling yet we won’t feel the uncomfortable barrier and we’re not biologically related. Best friend is someone whom we can just share literally about everything. Best friend is someone who’s also emotionally close like our significant other, yet he/she is different from our significant other because we can complain (or I should say seek advice when we have relationship problems with our SO) to our best friend. *lol*
I am indeed very grateful to have someone to call my best friend. Thank you so much, Miss D! :)
♥ every page of my imagination
6 people traveled to my fantasyland
Looks like I’m going to tell you a story I heard about at school when I was ten. Geez, is this meant to be some children’s bed time story? Ummm…why not you tell me after reading this entry? Right, the story I’m telling was originated from a Chinese proverb (赛翁失马，焉知非福) [sai weng shi ma, yan zhi fei fu].
Mr. Sai owned an expensive horse. It had excellent ground manners in terms of its performance, speed, versatility, athletic, plus it was very friendly and sociable. Mr. Sai was very proud of his horse and had been bringing it around showing off. One day, the horse left his owner. Unfortunately the horse was no where to be found and thus left Mr. Sai living lugubriously since. Just when Mr. Sai was still mourning about his loss; his horse appeared in front of his house and this time he brought with him another horse.
I guess the meaning of this story is pretty self-explanatory. In case I didn’t make it conspicuous enough, the moral of this story was what it appeared to be unfortunate might actually bringing us good fortune and luck later.
I’m very sure many of us have had such experience before. There are incidents when we are working towards a goal, despite after putting all the effort and have tried our best; in the end we just do not get what we aimed. Sure, we would feel upset and disappointed. But actually once we’ve recovered from this somber mood; the earth still continues to rotate and life still goes on. Believe it or not, maybe that initial loss and disappointment will bring us something better many-folds later.
I have a college friend. She didn’t do well for her GPA and thus she couldn’t continue an additional year (which we were required to perform a year of individual research project and write up a thesis later) for her degree at a department she really wanted. She was low-spirited and felt lost for a while. But her optimisms made her to find an alternative way to continue to her studies. In the end, she managed to get an offer of a different degree at another college. She worked hard (as before) and quickly she adapted to the new environment. 2 years later, she actually managed to get half a scholarship in pursuing her doctorate degree and she wasn’t much behind than my other college mates who took the “normal” option with high GPA score and ended up gaining doctorate studentship.
I know a friend who felt so heartsick from all her past bitter relationship. It took her almost a year to go through a lot of soul searching after her last breakup. Just when she thought she would never find love again; she met someone who really appreciates and cares for her.
These are just some stories happening around us or they actually happened to us. I’m sure there are a lot more we can talk about. What all these real life examples do tell us one thing; things happen for a reason and no matter how negative it looks like in the beginning, it may not be ugly in actuality. For instance, if my college mate scored higher GPA and managed to continue her additional year in the degree. She’s likely not able to get a position for her doctoral scholarship seeing the fact that there was limited studentship offer for our batch of student. Whereas though it might appeared that she was taking a different route for continuing her degree; the change of environment and other things induced a feasible learning atmosphere to her and eventually she did better than a lot of us.
What about my other friend who was hurt and lost her faith in love? Sure it was really disheartening that she couldn’t be with her recent ex, who seemed to be a nice chap. But the failure of that relationship prompted her to actually have a lot of personal development and started to perceive things differently. And when her right one appeared, she was truly ready.
Mr. Sai lost his horse, was that a sign of bad luck? We didn’t get something we want, was that unfortunate? Well, it’s still too early to say…
I hope you like this children's story. Perhaps you can tell this “Mr. Sai and his lost horse” story to your kids (in future). :P
♥ every page of my imagination
2 people traveled to my fantasyland
I've been hearing a lot of childhood stories, my own and my siblings'. There is something I think is funny that I’d like to share here.
I can't help emphasizing again and again that the elders in my family are really protective and they are really strict in disciplining us. Most of the time they would just tell you “Don’t do this!” “Go and do that!” and believe me they still do. Well, we all know they do that because they want to protect us and don’t want us to hurt ourselves. That’s of good intention. I never doubt that. However, one big thing they don’t realize is human beings especially children can be really stubborn at times. The more you want them to do, the further you chase them away.
My youngest sis is the cheekiest ones amongst us. My grandma was the one who took care of us while my parents worked. According to her, my youngest sis is the most playful one thus far other than my little brother. While my grandma was telling us our childhood stories, she was actually laughing when pictures of my youngest sis when she’s a kiddo projected on her mind. One of the funny incidents about my sis was my grandma always warned us not to pick up stuff on the floor and put into our mouths when we were babies. She told that to my little sis too. One late morning my grandma was cooking in the kitchen and keeping an eye watching my 18-month sister. She constantly turned her head around to check out the baby and even reminded her again to stay away from dangerous stuff and don’t put stuff to her mouth. My baby sis smiled and nodded her head. My grandma happily continued her cooking chore. Then minutes later, she heard a loud scream. She immediately ran to my sis, who’s just a few steps away. To my grandma’s astonishment, she found that my sis’s mouth was reddish swollen. Poor grandma was panicking and started crying while trying to find out what’d happened. You won’t believe this; the naughty girl just picked up some really hot small chilli and stuffed it into her mouth. Oh boy!
Whenever my little sis heard this story, she would just join our laughter. There was one time she came to me and actually did explain that she actually knew what she was doing at that age on that day. She told me that she’s just really curious how the red stuff tasted and why grandma always told us not to do this and that. She wanted to find out herself the reason why she’s prohibited in doing certain things. Thank goodness, curiosity only kills the cat but not my sis. *lol*
Well, this little childhood story does tell us something not? I think sometimes we are warned for the outcome about certain things if we do this and if we do that. Yet, we don’t tend to agree at least half of the time about these warnings. What if we go for this and not that as we told? Probably it might not turn out that bad as others thought. The more we think about those “what ifs” or “maybe”, the more uncertain we feel. And worse still we may start blaming others in not giving us the freedom in experiencing what we like.
No one likes to be hurt. Of course we always like to protect our beloved ones from being hurt to. That’s not funny to see someone being hurt at all. But you know sometimes stopping us/them from doing certain things won’t totally prevent us/them from being hurt. We may never learn or just always wonder how it would turn out if we chose the other way. Look at my sis, from that little event onwards, though she didn’t pick up red hot chilli to her mouth anymore, she actually tried other stuff (you don't even want to know what she tried), at least she learned her lesson each time. You know, sometimes we may just learn better and quicker by hurting ourselves, as long as we don’t kill ourselves at once!
♥ every page of my imagination
3 people traveled to my fantasyland
It's my third day at home. What have I been doing? Eating, sleeping (odd hours such as daytime and walking around at night like a night owl) and more eating! Now aren't you jealous about my vacation?
It was a long travel to go home. The fortunate bit was my parents didn't pick up the wrong girl at the airport. Dad looks older than I last saw him a year ago. My mom gave me a hug in the airport!! Now this is something weird seeing the fact that our family is really conservative and don't usually express ourselves, not especially through physical gesture. I think mom has been really opening up. Well done!
Since I've been living in a solitude life all these years, the greatest part of coming home is to hang around with my siblings, particularly my little brother. Geez, he was just 5 years old when I left home and now he's at least half-a-head taller than me!
I don't have much exciting plan for the rest of my vacation home. But I've been really talking and talking with everyone in my family including my grandma. I love talking with my grandma. She always tells me stories of the past and how we behaved when we were kids. I think I would like my grandchildern sitting down listening to me when I was old later.
All right, that's just a quick update about my really simple but happy vacation. Home sweet home! :)
PS: I am slacking off a bit these few days to update the blog. Well, you know I'm ON VACATION! Haha. All right, I'll come back with more entries later. By the way, thanks to Hector Hudon for your "order in demand" to remind me KEEP BLOGGING! Did I have a new reader now? I will keep blogging, no worries, I still have a lot to say. Hopefully someone won't leave me a comment commanding me, "STOP BLOGGING!" *muahaha* :P
♥ every page of my imagination
4 people traveled to my fantasyland
I'm getting out my huge suitcase to first unpack the stuff brought a year ago when I visited home and pack some stuff to bring back as gifts.
However it is just not a simple unpacking and packing. I actualy rediscovered stuff that I bought but hardly or in fact never used. For examples, look at the clothes I brought over. I remember each year I went home during school vacation, I would just shopped and shopped to stock up as much stuff as possible for the year. But actually how much stuff did I really need to use or manage to use? Probably just about half of the purchased.
Let's take a look at our closet. I find that there are many clothes that haven't been worn for ages. I just look at the pairs of jeans I have. Geez, I used to think I didn't have that many pairs of jeans because I ( have to reemphasize ) I'm really not a shopaholic, not especially for clothings. But when I look at the closet, I actually have too many pairs and what's more pity is I don't like to wear them anymore. I admit that I am suffering the complex of abandoning old clothes after getting new ones. No matter how few clothes I buy each time, I'll just slowly ignore the old ones and keep wearing the newer ones. I'm sure some of you have this complexity too. At least many of us have the "just in case" mind. When we're making a purchase, we'll be thinking, "Maybe this is not enough, just in case I need more, I better buy more now." Then all of a sudden, a packet will end up 3 packets and sometimes we don't even bother to use it later, not even once. This happens to me many times. Look at the cooking spices I bought from home, I haven't touched them since I brought those packets back because I don't cook often enough. Just imagine if we could be a bit thrifty, we would have save up a small fortune for better purposes.
With this typed, I better not buy that much this time when I'm home. I don't want to throw away stuff for my next relocation. That will be a pain.
While going through the stuff, I actually found a letter in a red envelope (red resembles prosperous and fortune in chinese). It's a letter written by my aunt. I vaguely recall the content and the reason I brought it along with me. I had a read. Minutes later I found tears filling my eyes. It was a letter accompanied by her blessings (in terms of some money in red packet) when I was leaving home for my first job ever in another country shortly after my return from college. The following is the excerpt of the letter.
"I could still remember when you were entering Grade one, I bought you a set of color pencils as a gift. You stared at me innocently with a wide grin on your face. Since then you smoothly accomplished your education all the way to high school. After that, you went abroad and again, I gave you my "blessings". Again, you didn't disappoint me and completed your degree. Now you're entering another phase in life. There will be humps in front. But I'm sure you'll learn from them. Plus you know I'm always supportive with whatever you want to pursue.
Aunt SF
2002-26-03"
This letter was written almost 3 years ago. That was way before I quited my first and only job and came here for Grad school. That means it was not written in association/regards with my relocation here. But I still brought it with me. I know subconsciously that letter serves a strong dose of support and encouragement for me wherever I'm on my own from time to time.
Okie dokie, enough thoughts from this packing. I really need to continue packing. Boy, I'm beginning to looking forward to go home and see my family. Well, they better feel the same. Oops, I mean my family. Gotcha! Hehe.
♥ every page of my imagination
3 people traveled to my fantasyland
I don't get to see my family that much. It's about once every year since I've left home a decade ago. The only time I went home a few more times within a year was when I was working at a neighboring country, which made the traveling a lot easier. Well, I am not so much bothered by the entire traveling hastle. But it is also because of the long-distance traveling that causes some hindrance to go home frequently. I can't go home for weeks that often enough in a year. Of course I can, but I'll may end up finishing my thesis double the time required. Plus the airticket is just way too costly to visit home from here. Ah well, I'm just a student! *lol*.
Do I get homesick? Em...I don't actually recall being homesick all these years, not even when I first left home. Don't get me wrong; I still miss my family and think about them very frequently. Whenever I look at the clock and continuing my activities/daily life here, I'll be doing the Math to work out the time back at home, and automatically start to imagine what'd they be doing.
It is rather strange. I wasn't that close with my family before I left home. Probably I was just like many of you, I took my family for granted. I started to appreciate my family, the presence of everyone in the family and even down to small matters like laundry's taken care of, clothes are ironed, a warm tasty and nutritious homecook meal ready when you come home, you don't have to worry that you'll be dying of hunger if you're falling sick alone at home. The distance has definitely bridged the gap. I won't say I'm very close to everyone in the family. Yet I know I would have never felt closer and appreicated them more if I had never left home.
Although I don't go home often enough, I stay closely with my family. I call home every once in a short while, say once a week or once in a fortnight. I try to talk to everyone at home, which is difficult seing the fact I do have a relatively big family. Sometimes I don't have much to share with my parents, especially my mom, yet I still think it is important to make the effort in maintining the interaction. Don't you notice that we probably spend more time with our friends or coworkers than our own family, albeit the latter are closest with us biologically? Yet many of us don't go home to visit our family, especially our folks that much, even though we are staying nearby.
Since I haven't seen my family for a year, it is about time to go home for a family reunion. But before that I still need to work furiously to cross out some items in the long list at work. Nevertheless I'm sure the trip will be worthwhile. *grin* Oiy, it better be, since the trip to home will take more than a day including a transit in another country.
For those who are staying close to their parents' or better still staying at home, now aren't you glad that you don't have to travel thousand miles to go home? Lucky you!
♥ every page of my imagination
2 people traveled to my fantasyland
Me: Daddy, are we arriving at the place soon?
Dad: Yea…soon….
30 minutes later.
Me: Daddy, are we there yet?
Dad: Soon…very soon….
15 minutes later
Me: Daddy…why aren’t we there yet?
Dad: Dear we’re getting there….
All right, the little girl decided to give up in asking. Her daddy’s just fibbing. Ugh!
Minutes later…
Dad: All right, we’ve reached *the place we were heading*. Kids, get out of the car now.
What?! We were here alas?! That’s it?!
This is just a little personal experience of mine. When we were younger, dad loved to bring the whole family for some road trips around the country. Trust me; some of those trips were not that far, maybe like an hour or two. But somehow as a kid, you really had no idea how long the journey was and how long was exactly an hour! But as I grow, I’m better in estimating the time and perhaps I understand better those hours at not that long, I’ll get there soon. Thus I really don't mind taking more than 16 hours of flight because I know that 16 hours or so will end and we’ll reach the destination. We'll not get there after the first hour, but it’ll arrive at City A 16 hours later.
Don’t you feel chapfallen over certain things that you’ve been waiting for or working towards but you aren’t just getting or achieving them, yet?! Of course occasionally you are completely flummoxed too along with the dissatisfaction. How long more do you have to wait? Am I getting there? Maybe I’m just not going to get it? Will I ever get it?
Months ago my friend came to me and sobbed about her relationship problem with her boyfriend. They were having some communication problem; he’s not meeting her expectations over certain things and so did he. Anyway, since I haven’t seen her for a while, we had a bit of a chat that day.
Me: How are things between you and your bf?
Friend: Well, the problems are still there…but we’re opening up and communicate more.
Me: That’s really good to hear. Communication is very important in every relationship.
Friend: Yeah, but I still hope that we can come to a consensus on the issues that we’ve been discussing.
Me: …..
Friend: Well, we just can’t hurry. It takes time; just like work takes time to complete, results don’t come overnight. It is the same for him and me, miracle doesn’t happen overnight for us. I can’t expect him to get a stable job any sooner. But I know one day he will.
My friend is certainly right. Rome wasn’t built in one day. We’ll get there (whatever you’re aiming or waiting). It’s just not this moment, but it is likely to be next moment, next week, next month, next year or some day. We just can’t rush. But it’ll be here. You know, it’s even possible that when it comes, you will be so surprised and marvel, “This is it? I’m already here?”
That's right. Don't be flustered. I'm sure we will achieve our aims one day because we are working on it/them constantly. The journey may seem to be a little longer than expected, but you know, that in fact makes us appreciate it/them later. I hope this little story and dialogue will give us some insights and motivations. Eh, it's only the 3rd day of the new year. It's the perfect timing for us to stay positive. Let us continue what we' are aiming, even though it may not look optimistics for the time being. I'm trying to put this into practice myself and I'm sure I'll be able to attain this realization some day. *grin*
♥ every page of my imagination
2 people traveled to my fantasyland
Once upon a time, there were two fishes that wanted to know what's happiness and where to find it.Someone told them, "If you swim around, you will find happiness."
After listening, both fishes set off to swim around to look for that happiness. They swam and swam, from small rivers to the sea and to the oceans searching for "happiness".
Decades past, they were still looking for "happiness". They would never be able to find "happiness" because they've already owned it in the beginning. They didn't realize that being able to swim around is already happiness.
Welcome to the year of 2006! I hope this little story (borrowed from Hong Kong sitcom again), will serve as an appetiser for everyone to get off to a good start on whatever you are aiming. May you find this year full of happiness and joy. Remember, happiness is just beside us!
♥ every page of my imagination
3 people traveled to my fantasyland
