“Two persons three feet”, have you ever played this game? I am unsure whether this is just an Asian game. Anyway, this is really common in Asia, especially as an event of some sports or game competitions. I couldn’t remember whether I have participated this before. Perhaps I did for only once but I’ve observed many times. Basically how it works is, you have to tie one of your feet with your partner’s and then walk, run, gallop (whatever you and your partner find efficient and comfortable about) to reach the end point.

I am not a big fan of this game. To be precise, I am not major fan for many sports. But I do know the trick of winning this game; you and your partner must share the same consensus and sometimes even understanding each other tacitly. Just imagine if one walks too fast leaving the other struggling to follow his/her pace, obviously their feet will hurt. If one insists to move faster but the other finds it tough, they will eventually lose out in the game or worse still both will trip and fall because of the lack of coordination. All in all, this winning team is not actually the fastest but a team with coordination, which allows them to move forward at their comfortable speed thus defeating others.

I don’t usually share much about my thoughts on relationships. I realize my previous entry (Can it work?) has laid an opening about this topic, though I didn't intend to talk talk about it when I started composing it. Ah well, I might as well elaborate a bit more on this topic here. The “sharing the same view and consensus” was brought up, which reminded me of this game.

I am certainly not the best person to share on this topic. However I do get lots of vicarious experiences and insights from many good examples from others surrounding me. I’ll just take my parents as an example. My parents are not the most perfect loving couple I’ve seen. Yet I have always learned a lot from their marriage/couplehood; some good parts and some bad parts.

My parents celebrated their silver wedding anniversary few years back. Geez, if you can spend 25 years with someone and going through lots of ups and downs, you must have some magic there or to the least there must be something that makes you stick with this person to share practically everything that long right? I look at my parents. They aren’t particularly very loving in front of us or probably that’s the actual truth. They are just like many couples out there. My parents can share very different views sometimes. They argued, quarreled and for a few times had cold wars too, especially when they were much younger. They still do. Their romance isn’t a fairy tale. They do worry about practical things such as finance, kids, households and internal conflicts from both sides of their families. No matter how big the issue is, somehow they find a way to resolve it. In other words, they will somehow come to a consensus even though they may not find the best solution to deal with whatever problem they are facing.

I always see one party has to accommodate to the other. Now the funny bit is it seems that my dad is always the one accommodating my mom. But that’s actually not really the case. There are certain things my mom will certainly listen to my dad. That’s right; both sides do need to accommodate each other at some point.

I do, however, find that it would be better if my parents could be more open to discuss and communicate with each other. My parents each have their stubborn sides. My dad can sometimes “not speak” of what he is thinking. Yeah, isn’t this a typical man thing? Whereas my mom is just like many women out there who can be overly sensitive and complains a lot. It is funny to see their problems as their children. This is something I think they need to cross talk, which is to communicate more. However there are certain times that they know what each other is thinking without him/her expressing it out verbally. Ah I guess they do have some tacit understanding too.

Well, all in all, there is no special magic for a sweet fruitful relationship. The two persons really have to just work it out. Although there are no easy shortcuts to make it work, it is no complex formula. Remember what the “2 persons 3 legs” game has taught us; you and your partner have to communicate more and come to a consensus when conflict starts (or even way before a conflict begins). It is not a matter of moving fast or slow, but how comfortably the two person move forward together.

♥ every page of my imagination

Viewing the fleeting world
- a star at dawn; a bubble in the stream; a flash of lightning in a summer cloud; a flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream together with Jade